Friday, June 12, 2015

Back in the swing of things

6/5/2015 - The Velodrome
Did you know that Cleveland had a Velodrome? Let me back up...do you know what a velodrome is? It's kind of an awesome word that conjurers up images of Cobra's headquarters which was called the "Terror Drome" but they are obviously different...just in case they aren't though, stand by Joe's. The Velodrome is an arena for track cycling and looks like a NASCAR track for bikes. The track is steeply banked on the short ends with straights on the long ends. Ours is an outdoor track with some seating but some are indoors in an arena type setting like Cleveland Public Auditorium which hosted many indoor velodrome races in the 20's and 30's.

Now that you know what it is, I bet you didn't know we had one? Smack dab in the middle of Slavic Village (By law when someone says Slavic Village they are also to mention that it was ground zero of the housing bubble) which was ground zero of the housing bubble. From the track's infield it doesn't look like it is where it is. You can see clusters of nice green trees just over the banked track. You see building tops but not enough to know if they're clustered low income apartments or just completely abandoned. Every couple of blocks along Broadway you see the good bones of neighborhood place-making starting to come together. Artistic metal arches over the street and other art installments dot the landscape. A few well preserved old buildings from the area's ethnic past sit as reminders of the good old days. Gems like the Velodrome and the Morgana Run trail show proof of some interest in the area but sadly nothing close to what it truly needs. 

Cleveland needs that neighborhood that is the "Cyclist's Paradise" and for some reason the Slavic Village brass isn't getting this big oval slap in the face! I'm talking protected bike lanes everywhere, bike shops, indoor/outdoor bike park, an annual road race, bike manufacturing companies...THE WORKS!...Nope. Nuthin. Boy if I had a million dollars right?!?



Watching races at the Velodrome was fun! I paid my $5 for infield access, a hot dog, and a beverage. Not too shabby. I also donated some to the cause because I just love having this in the city. My friend and co-worker Melanie was volunteering at the food booth so I got the scoop on Velodrome cycle racing from her:

First, the bikes they use to race don't coast. The wheels and the pedals are fixed together so you have to slow down your legs in order to slow down the bike to a stop. Now for me this might be a stumbling point since I cruise through life, hold down the clutch and cruise, and look for the steep hills to bike on so I don't have to pedal...not with this bike. Oh and it also makes starting a race very interesting as they have to hold on to the rail at the top of one of the straight banks until the gun goes off to start. "And there's the starting gun and Vozar goes face first down the ramp and into the infield. Get that guy a hot dog and some gauze!"

Second, the bikes have clip on shoe/pedals thingies. I knew this but have never seen them in person before. I've also heard of people not being able to detach in time and just randomly falling to the ground at stop lights. Now that's comedy! So you can't coast AND you're clipped in??? Have you ever seen me walk? Ya, I'm one deep thought away from tripping over myself into a face smash. Sometimes you can hear me faintly saying "left foot. right foot. heel. toe. heel. toe" when I walk. I mean I'm not scared but I can see why the helmets are necessary!...and face masks...and mouth guards. Amen.

Thirdly, follow the lines on the track. Don't go getting all ballsy and drift towards the top of the high banks during a race where you really shouldn't as you then become a go fast battering ram, if you're not careful. There's a passing rule too but I'm not sure if I remember it or if it's only in certain races. Either way look for me in the blue area 99.99% of the time when I sign up for my free beginner's course later this summer.

Fourthly and most importantly, spandex. Everywhere. If you want to see pressed down boobs and bulgy junk, this is the place for you!...and you can kill 2 birds with one stone looking at me in one of those getups! Ha! I'll stick with shorts and a t-shirt until I need to shave some seconds off my lap time. Don't let that stop anyone else though. Get your Lycra on ladies.

6/5/2015 - Indians 2 - Orioles 5
A few posts ago I wrote about a cheap but fun night out in Cleveland that included a Tribe game, $1 Dog and Soda night, and fireworks. Well I took my own advice and went to that game and who did we happen to come across? The McCoy clan there for a pre-wedding party of some kind. It was great to see them and shoot the $hit for a bit. We ate hot dogs, drank beer, and had a heck of a time watching some baseball. The "hipster approved classic rock fireworks" were pretty great although I don't know why they were "hipster approved"? I didn't hear one song by The Clash, The Ramones, Lou Reed, or Mudhoney... any hipster rock bands I missed? We lost but who really cared when you had friends there like this.

6/7/2015 - Louis Anderson at Hilarities
Say what you want about what you've heard about Louis Anderson but the man is still funny after all these years and a stint on family feud. Gina, myself, and Eli went to Hilarities to check him out with of course free tickets. I swear I've been there about 7-8 times since moving here and have had to pay for tickets once and just that first time. I don't ever see crap acts either. They've all been pretty top notch. Keep filling out those cards and you keep going back. I guess it's only a great deal if you live in the area...so move to the area right?! It's a great night on the town at East 4th no matter what you go there to do but everyone should know that by now.

Louis was funny, topical, local, and on point even when a drunk old lady piped up about it being her and her husband's 50th anniversary or some $hit. He gently took the time to calm her down verbally and when this selfish attention hog finally shut up, he moved right back into the funny. A true professional and definitely worth seeing.

6/7/2015 - NBA Finals Game 2 Watch Party at the Q
So to end our fun whirlwind day of grad parties and comedy shows Gina, Eli, and I headed over to the Q to watch the Cavs in the finals...on the jumbo-mega-fire shooting-sword wielding-supertron! It was the finals so we paid $5 to get in but I have to tell you that it was totally worth it. The place was packed! Like more packed than a "mid-season game against the Hornets" packed. Everyone was pumped and the energy was high the whole time. I guess it had to do with the fact that for $5 us normal people could afford to actually go to a finals game. True blue collar fans and not people who just go to see Usher sing the national anthem and be seen. And the Cavs won! Hopefully we'll have at least 1 more chance to go and celebrate a champ... champi... I can't even say it. I actually don't know how. I haven't been a part of or cheered for a team that brings home a trophy...well except for Texas but it's different when it's the home team. Cross your finger. Knock on wood. Turn the light switch on and off 5 times. Whew.

Congrats to my graduating relatives Tianna, Austin, and Allison and to all the grads out there. I say that knowing that kids I babysat and watched grow up are now embarking on their real lives. It makes me feel old and proud at the same time. As they spread their wings and leave the nest and all that stuff, the world is much different now than when I did the same so my words of wisdom may feel a bit like me telling you that I used to wear jean shorts and gas was $1.50 BUT a universal truth in all of this is that your next 10 years are going to be the best and the worst all at the same time. Make memories you will be proud to tell your kids about and minimize the mistakes you'll for sure make. I make it well known that my time after high school was wasted figuring out who I was past what Louisville had made me and trying to throw off the shackles of small town thinking and fear. Not until I was 30 did I truly become who I am and most importantly...who I'm proud to be. Be proud to be an urban explorer or whatever dreams you may not even know about yet. Have a goal past marriage and family and do everything you can to achieve that. There's too much to life for you to even know what you want at this point but this is the prime time to discover that. Love what you do everyday and love yourself. Good luck!



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