New Browns Logo huh?

The Browns decided to unveil a new logo this week. We all waited to see what the front office that was daring enough to draft Johnny Football and Justin Gil...Gilcrest...Gilbert... corner back Gilbert Gottfried in last year's draft could do for our logo. Would we finally choose something other than a helmet? Would we embrace the "Dawg Pound" nickname and make it a mean snarling dog? Would we go with the evil "Brownie the Elf"? Anything was possible... anything... I guess even nothing.

Since we changed the logo to a helmet our city's population has never gone up. Coincidence?

Well just like with our 2 1st round draft picks last year, we were disappointed and just like our 2 1st round draft picks last year, were driven insane or to drink by the Browns front office. Here are 3 missed opportunities with the "new " orang-ier logo:

1. With a new logo, you can make us forget about these past 2 off-seasons and to give us hope for the future. 

How do you build upon a 7-9 record which was the best you've done in years? Well...

1. Don't jump at resigning your starting QB
2. Let you're star WR run around unsupervised because you think he "learned his lesson"
3. Chase your O-coordinator out of town by micromanaging and meddling in personnel
4. Hire a new O-coordinator who's never been one before
5. Watch your savior QB enter rehab
6. Have your GM get caught sending texting to the sidelines which will eventually lead to us loosing draft picks
7. After much hope and anticipation, come out with a logo that looks exactly like the old logo... seriously! Just like the old one. Which one is which?

The font's kinda different... the left one is orang-ier... are the face masks on the actual helmets going to be brown? If we're going to be sticklers about chin strap buttons, shouldn't we add one to the top corner of the face mask? Wait!... Did we eliminate the color grey to save on printing!?!

2. With a new logo, you can now sell all new apparel to fans with the new logo on it and make millions!

Go on a journey with me for a second... You're in the muni lot. It's 6 am on game day. You open up a cooler to see a glorious site. 12 Great Lakes beers, a flask of Cleveland Whiskey, and a Kool-Aid concoction that has Port Side Rum in it with cherries and pineapples. Pretty typical for tailgating. Now for the next 6 hours drink all of it... plus a few shots from the shot girl because you thought she was hot. OK maybe you lost a beer or 2 along the way because you have a skeevy friend who only brings 1/2 a 6er to tailgate with. When it comes time for you to head to the game you have 39 gallons of liquor/beer and 2 brawts in you, a contact high because... you walked through the muni lot, and you have to pee. You walk past the team shop on the way to your seat and say to yourself "Hey hey... hey. I need a new t-shirt because the Brownssssssssss gots'em new logo... and I got BBQ sauce and piss on dis one I havehereonmerightNOW." You look down at the old logo on your shirt and then look up at the new logo on a shirt in the team shop window...

"Hmmm... I guess they have'n put the new thing out on... it... yet. F*ck it! I gotta piss."

I still wear my Tim Couch jersey to games. Wanna know why? Because jersey's are expensive and since the NFL doesn't take into consideration where they are selling their stuff, people who live in New York city have to pay the same amount for jersey's as people in... oh let's say Beirut. There's a difference in the income of the 2 areas. Know what would have made me buy something new??? Any of these:

I love this one! Snarling dog, keeps the colors, isn't a helmet...	Keeps with tradition, keeps the colors, looks mean, isn't a helmet...
OK kinda reminds me of a generic Madden logo but still incorporates everything about the team. Oh and isn't a helmet...	I'd totally buy a shirt with an orange barrel as a logo! At least the orange barrels don't get our hopes up every year...

His name is "Cleveland Brown" and he is proud to be...
a different logo than... what it used to be...

3. With a new logo, you give us something good to talk about this off-season...

Seriously, good or bad, a drastic logo change gives us something to focus on this off-season. Callers could talk about it for weeks on sports radio. Instead, while our team is making the Raiders look like a well put together franchise all you can do to distract us with a shiny new toy is to make the face mask brown and the orange even orang-ier? My God! We're now an even bigger laughing stock... if you can believe it?!? Millions of dollars in marketing and this is what you came up with?

I'm telling you Clevelanders, focus on all of the nice buildings going up downtown. Focus on all of the renovations. Focus on the Cavs! Focus on people and jobs and the RNC and anything else... except this group of jokers. Gladiators season is right around the corner. They made it to the championship last year! You can get tickets for $5.

Good night fans of CLE! Sweet dreams of more orang-ier things in the future. LLAP-RIP...

---

Leave me your thoughts
on any of this
in the Comments Section below.

Get my blog posts sent right to you!

Put your e-mail address under

FOLLOW BY EMAIL

on the right menu and click Submit.
(See what I did here?)

Like, Share, Star, and +1 the blog on Social Media by clicking either the Buttons below after Posted by or the Icons below the comments at the bottom of the screen.

---

Monster Jam & the Capitol Theater

Monster Jam

2/15/2015 - When we were kids I'm sure there were some of you out there that liked monster trucks. I liked Bigfoot and Grave Digger myself... which I guess is like cheering for both Ohio State and Michigan. I need to pick a side! Anyways, since this spectacle of loud, large, action packed, automobile action is the kid crack equivalent to the potency of the stuff they did in Wolf of Wall Street... my sister, Gina, and I took my nephew Jeremy to Monster Jam.

Now since I don't have kids I tend to look at things as if they only effect me... and to a lesser extent, Gina. I MEAN to an equal extent. That's my rite as a single man in his mid 30's. Freedom!... vs whatever perk you married people get... I think it has something to do with taxes or something boring like that. With that being said, I wasn't really amped about going although I do love new experiences so I wasn't going to fake sick to get out of it or anything. It would be a fun afternoon in Cleveland with family... that's where my brain stopped making emotions and started thinking of lunch.

Speaking of lunch, we stopped into the Flat Iron Cafe for delicious wings and other food. It was right when they opened so we were the only people there. The food, as always, was delicious and we needed boxes to take some home because the portions are crazy there. After an hour of dodging the "What's the Hustler Club?" questions from Jeremy, we rushed him into the car like he was Lindsay Lohan coming out of a crack den surrounded by paparazzi... and were off to the Q!

I have to admit that Monster Jam really hit that man chord in me. Big trucks. Big Tires. Loud internal combustion engines. Smashing cars. Competition. It was all there! It also struck the "kid at heart" string I have in there. My dad equates it to 1980's professional wrestling. Bigger than life, muscle bound athletes wearing bright colors smashing into each other. I used to love that! This takes the best of those 2 worlds, smashes them together, adds 2 hot chick drivers, and delivers a hell of a good time! 

This was the kicker though... kids, who are normally... let's be honest... wiggling balls of annoyance and questions who need constant attention when you boil them (not literally) down to their core, wore earphones, sat quietly, and paid attention! Past the obvious comparison of my mentality vs a child's, I understood why for a few hours a couple times a year parents will bring their kids to see this while paying $$$ for the tickets... it's the best way to fulfill your parental obligation! It's like getting paid to baby sit a sleeping child in a house that has HBO and a stocked liquor cabinet. It's a win/win! I'll take Jeremy next year if he wants to go back. I'll take my kid when/if I have/steal one. I really like it. They'll love it. Zone out. Enjoy!

The Capitol Theater

2/13/2015 - Because I'm a good boyfriend, I recommended that we go see "50 Shades of Grey" opening night which is also the night before Valentine's day. Because I'm selfish, I recommended that we go see it at the Capitol Theater in the Gordon Square area of Cleveland since, as I said earlier, I love new experiences and have never been. I'm a horny genius bastard because I recommended we see a film that would give the women the weird female rush that bondage mixed with 2 shots of difficult man to change brings while I enjoyed, given the rules of movies,  tons of naked boob and butt shots with... and this is most important... no dong shots! Again for me >>>> Win/MutherF'ingWIN!

I'm going to run through a few short paragraphs that aren't too descriptive and don't do the places justice but kinda tell a quick fun story about how Gina and I roll... ready... and go:

We ate at Happy Dog which goes to show that no matter what the event, I can always get Gina to go to a place that serves hot dogs. For all of the "I miss my yard" I have to hear daily, this piece of her white trashy DNA makes up for all of it. If you've never been to Happy Dog, go already!

We went to Sweet Moses which is down the street for some old school dessert! I had Pecan Pie a la mode. They have something called phosphate sodas which makes me think of 1955 Hill Valley. If you've never been to Sweet Moses, go after eating at Happy Dog. You won't be sorry... well until you get on the scale the next morning.

We had time to kill... so we fell asleep in the car for 45 minutes before the movie. Yup, grandma and grandpa fell asleep in the car before a 10:30 pm movie on a Friday night. I won't lie... it was probably more satisfying then successfully trolling for a 3some on a Friday night at 10:30 pm while being the perfect amount of drunk. God we're old.

Refreshed from our nap but still groggy we walking into the theater and I broke the cardinal rule of men's intuition... blindly listen to a woman. We walked into the wrong theater and started to watch the wrong movie... previews and all. I've never been to the Capitol so I wasn't sure what to expect. We literally walked into a 2nd floor man cave with theater seating and I thought... "Nothing wrong with this." I believe there are 2 smaller upstairs theaters.

Finally after all of that we walked into the right theater. I have to say... all of the great things I read about all of the work that went into it and how it is the cornerstone of the neighborhood... they're all true. It's a beautiful theater. It has all of the old school decorations and charm that you'd expect in a theater from that era. The screen was wide, the seats were comfortable, and the sound was Dolby digital whatever. It was great!... and it's within walking distance to great food & dessert options, small business shopping, beautiful streetscapes, the lake, $400,000 town homes, performing arts, and other pieces that make it a destination! The people who lead the project to bring the Capitol back and build up the neighborhood around it should be given the urban metal of honor. I'm going to see as many movies as I can here and if you live in the area, I recommend you do the same! Hell make a night out of it. It's a beautiful theater and a wonderful area.

As for the movie... I liked it. Yes, it had an almost always nude woman in it which doesn't hurt a film but I liked the story. It was different and I tend to like different. I'm always a fan of introducing awkwardness to soccer moms and hands-in-the-air Christians although this movie did use the "Spoon full of Sugar" approach to do it. People of all kinds ultimately walked out of a Skin-a-max movie after it was over that they left the house to watch and now have to live with they're feelings on it... that makes me feel good about the world. No, I still won't read the book because:

"The movie had a mechanical shark and the book has... pages." - John Caparulo on Jaws

I am so Smart! I am so Smart! SMRT... I mean SMART!

In this weeks edition of I'm a Genius, we look to the orchestra playing on the deck of the Suburban Titanic known as Sun news. This week they try to put a band aid on a severed head by reporting on then trying to smooth over The Death of the American Mall. Oh and since it's the technology age they want you to share your photos... good lord grandma! Quit trying to be cool! Like a group of 60 year old townies sitting in a shitty small town bar, they just reminisce about their glory days until it's time to go back to their miserable home lives. Yes, 4 Uncle Rico's talking about how gaggles of teens ran up and down the hallowed halls of American unoriginal cookie cutter cult of personality at it's finest. Was it weird for you to find out that all 48 malls in your county also had a GAP?!? I though we were special...

All malls were were a sanctuary from the poor, scary, and ethnic. I mean they couldn't have been any more medieval castle if you put a moat around them with a drawbridge. Today's person is more connected and doesn't need a loitering spot that isn't online. Movies can be streamed and pirated online. Clothes can be orders online. Oh and if you haven't noticed this internet thing is here to stay.

What you need to do is give people a destination. A place with all sorts of things to do, see, and interact with. I go over the whole dying mall epidemic in my post about saving a supernova mall. Here's a summary for those who have read it already... there are too many malls, they are in the most boring places on the planet, and they're dying... all of them. You want retail? Move it downtown. Gambling, sporting events, theater, arts, culture, 4-star cuisine, museums... compare that to North Olmsted where you can either shop or try to dig your brain out of your ear with a spork.

Thanks for reading! Check out some of my other posts using the menu to the right. Most are just as fun and witty as this one. Please click on the advertisements so I can get literally fractions of cents. I love me some Cle-burger and fries! Nighty night folks and stay warm...

---

Leave me your thoughts
on any of this
in the Comments Section below.

Get my blog posts sent right to you!

Put your e-mail address under

FOLLOW BY EMAIL

on the right menu and click Submit.

Like, Share, Star, and +1 the blog on Social Media by clicking either the Buttons below after Posted by or the Icons below the comments at the bottom of the screen.

---

We Don't Stop...EVER.

I thought I told you that we don't stop

Eh eh, eh eh

-Puff Daddy

Yes, I quoted Puff Daddy... When there's so much in Cleveland to experience whilst I spread the good word about how awesome it is up here to others... how could I stop? There's always something to do and Gina and I just try to keep up. I do love that we have so many visitors to show around. It's like the city is new as I get to see it through their eyes. Here's a good 2 week stretch that doesn't even include me losing money at the casino or driving to Louisville twice.

---

A Basketball First!

1/21/15 - We took Gina's nephew Sunny and his girlfriend Megan to their first NBA basketball game! When I see youngens like these 2 who have never been to a game, I jump at the opportunity to corrupt them by bringing them to the big city to show them a fun (wholesome) good time. In all my enthusiasm I do stop and think about how self sustaining the suburbs have become. You don't really ever need to leave and when you do, you go to the major places to sight see or vacation. You never really hit the middle of the road cities like Cleveland even when it's in your own back yard. It makes me remember my own childhood when I think I only saw 1 Cavs game until I moved up here at 22. With that being said, It's great when we can have family up and it's even better when we can do firsts and give them a fun, positive experience to remember. These 2 are great kids!

Watch out kids! He can unhinge his jaw and swallow you both whole!

---

Another Basketball First!

1-30-15 - We went with Gina's Aunt Julie and Uncle Jeff to their kid's, Grace and Aiden's, 1st NBA game. That was a lot of ,,, and ''' and who knows if I did it right? Anyways, we got dinner at the Flat Iron Cafe before hand in the Flats. This Irish pub has a great looking menu and the portions are enormous! Seriously, starve yourself for 2 days before eating here because it's good hearty food and lots of it. You won't break the bank either. The kicker to the experience is that they have a shuttle to the game so you don't have to pay to park... which you know is one of my pet peeves almost to a fault... or so I've been told. Even if there isn't a game going on it's strip club adjacent so you can always do that... sinner... 

It was another great Cavs game experience with family. We really are blessed to be able to have people come up and have fun with us. Warms my heart.

---

We Came, We Saw, We Drank...

We are sitting at a table that was reserved for someone else all night while we stood right next to it... we showed them! I mean we really did. That table will never be "reserved again".

1/31/15 - Old school friends of mine came up to Cleveland for our yearly dinner and drinks at the Great Lakes Brewing Company. No matter what life throws at us, we all find time to get together and enjoy a flight (or 6) and a good meal. This year was a bit different because we actually ventured out onto West 25th to bar hop... btw that's when you know you've made it as a destination is when a bunch of Louisville people decide that walking the mean streets is safe enough to get another drink. So congrats West 25th! We went to Market Garden and SOHO and a few of us even made it late into the night at TownHall. I always look forward to when we all get together since babies and work and lives seem to cut into good old drunken friend time when you get older like us. I can condemn from my mountain top since I'm single not married and childless. YOU PUSSIES!!!

---

Tangled up in Dylan at the Music Box Supper Club

This is evidently the face you make when you hear that Hozier is doing a duet with Annie Lennox...

2-7-15 - Gina got tickets for my parents and us to go see Tangled Up In Dylan at my favorite Cleveland music venue, the Music Box Supper Club. Now if you follow this blog you know that Gina plans a lot of things for my parents to do with us... aaaaand she does each one to try to make up for the one before. Not a great track record including Merwin's Warf even though my parents know how to roll with the good and bad and it really doesn't bother them at all that things may go sideways every now and again. As a family... we've been there and done that. With that being said... this one was an A+!

The seats were great. The food as always was wonderful! The Ryan Humbert band did an amazing job of covering what seemed like 138 Dylan songs while not hamming it up with that bad over exaggerated Dylan... we'll call it an accent. The songs were old favorites mixed in with B and even C sides but with a modern folksy twist. I loved the music so much that I will definitely check out there regular non-Dylan stuff. My parents seemed to have a great time too. They love Dylan so it was a good match in music. They sang. They danced. They applauded! My dad couldn't get over how great the lead guitar player was. Said he was the best he's ever seen live which is quite an achievement in its own right. I highly recommend seeing this show if and when it comes to your neck of the woods. I really couldn't have asked for anything more in an experience with my 'rents. Thank you Gina for setting this all up. Next time, I promise, we'll eat at Sokolowski's!

---

For the second week in a row I bring you my personal favorite blog segment...

I'M A GENIUS!

In this week's I'm A Genius we take a look at an article in the Plain Dealer about the possibility of a Superman statue at the North Coast Harbor end of the new pedestrian bridge... so basically by the Rock hall. If you didn't guess by the title of this section, I wrote about this last September in one of my more funnier posts. Read it by clicking the link below and bask in my superior brain power!: 

http://365daysincle.blogspot.com/2014/09/browns-boondoggles-freshwater-and.html

---

Leave me your thoughts
on any of this
in the Comments Section below.

Get my blog posts sent right to you!

Put your e-mail address under

FOLLOW BY EMAIL

on the right menu and click Submit.

Like, Share, Star, and +1 the blog on Social Media by clicking either the Buttons below after Posted by or the Icons below the comments at the bottom of the screen.

---

Tremont Restaurant Hop

Before I get to the restaurant hop portion of this blog, I have a few random things:

1) I've been working at Key (who does not back, agree/disagree with, or condone anything in this blog) for a year now. The writing was on the wall at Parma when UH took over and I saw it coming. The more I see people who I once worked with let go, the more I know I made the right choice to leave. Being acquired is like losing a war (on a no one actually dies kinda scale)... those who don't lose their jobs right away will soon or will be exiled to Shaker Heights no matter what promises are made or how rosy it may look for you.

2) I've lived in the Tremont neighborhood of Cleveland now for 9 months. Here's an update. I'm still alive. I haven't been mugged. Gina's car was broken into once and she had her GPS stolen. We captured 3 opossums in our basement. I haven't joined a gang. Homeless people don't ruin our walks by bothering us for change every 5 feet. We have however been to countless bars and restaurants, sporting events, farmer's markets and craft fairs, concerts, festivals, and other fun special events all within a 5 min drive or 20 min walk. We've entertained countless friends and family who all (except for the Merwin's Warf fiasco) had a wonderful time and would love to come back. It can be done people. If you're bored doing the same thing over and over in the suburbs or out in the country, please please read this blog and get the courage from our experiences to live in your nearest downtown or urban area... unless it's Columbus... then don't bother and come to Cleveland. Even if for only a year or two, urban areas will give you stories and experiences that you will hold on to for a lifetime. It's "tell your grand kids about" kinda stuff.

3) I've become the Membership Coordinator for our block club! It's step #2 on my way to becoming a city council person. Joining the block club was #1. Basically that means I make sure everyone signs in at the meetings and that if you attend a certain # of meetings in a rolling year, I designate you as a voting member. It's important... I think... I mean it is! Either/or it's momentum and I'm happy about that.

4) My posts will soon (if they don't already) have ads! Ya, I sold out. So click your little heart out people! Make me some $... but more than likely cents!

OK on to the Tremont Restaurant Hop!

The Bourbon Street Barrel Room is the newest restaurant in Tremont and boy did they go all out! Chandeliers, 2nd floor seating, and 2 bars are just some of the unique features of this renovated space. All of the lighting is unique and intriguing. The view from floor to floor is different and adds a fun dimension to the place. It really is the little details that makes BSBR stand out. I can only say that it reminds me of what movies tell me a restaurant in New Orleans is supposed to look like... minus the topless college girls covered in beads... although Marti Gras is only 2 weeks away so that could change.

The drink menu is colorful, tropical, and includes hurricanes which are always fun... or so I've been told since I can never seem to remember the next day. The menu is packed with traditional creole and southern staples but doesn't skimp on the flavor and heat like you may think a place like this would. They also have hush puppies and I haven't had those for years!... so I had about 15 of them. Yum!

The food is good and the atmosphere is out of this world. It's a wonderful addition to the neighborhood and is a wallet friendly meal which is hard to come by in Tremont. Bring a group and get ready to drink and get spicy. It's certainly a place worth showing off.

Ligali's Bistro is a fairly new joint with front window views of Lincoln Park. It's a joining of 2 spaces so make sure when you go, you go to the door on the left. You'll want to walk into the door that goes right into the bar but it's locked. Me and 3 other old people that night know from experience. There weren't a lot of folks there the night Gina and I went so we got some great personalized service from our waiter. I ordered off the happy hour menu... because I'm cheap. I ordered 2 things because usually happy hour servings are much smaller than the regular entree size. Not only is this not the case here, it's downright crazy how much food we got for $5 a plate. They have 3 happy hour food offerings. The fried-green tomatoes were out of season so they were out of them. The Thai Chili Wings were big (twice as big as a normal wings) and full of flavor... oh and there were like 8 of them! I was expecting 3-4 at most for a $5 happy hour plate in Tremont. I was also expecting the Wild Mushroom Flat Bread to be on something the size of a burger bun since again it was happy hour... this thing was huge. Both servings were so big that with a side of fries I looked like I was the host of a Man vs Food challenge. Not to just harp on the size, they were all delicious as well. Pair one with a $5 happy hour cocktail and you could get a pretty filling meal for $10. I recommend this place for happy hour for sure from 5-7 pm on Tuesday - Friday. I'll have to get an honest-to-god meal there too because their menu looks like a food wish list I would have come up with for my imaginary restaurant. I'd call it "Fat Sam's Disco" and serve nothing but healthy food.

Now for the I'm a genius portion of the blog:

1) In my post Planes, Trains, and Automobiles I talk about the need for a Inter-modal transit hub on the North Coast of Cleveland by where the current Amtrak station is. Well the Plain Dealer is now reporting that the RTA, city, Amtrak, and Greyhound listened to me and it's now on their radar. This is a huge deal in transportation for a city that lost it's airport hub status and a bunch of non-stop flights to big business cities along with it. Bravo everyone!...of course it wasn't originally my idea but I'm sure someone important read my post and was finally persuaded. Kind of a straw that broke the camel's back kinda situation.

2) More dead malls coming to the greater Cleveland area as Macy's and a bunch of other stores close their doors at Richmond mall. I not only predicted more of this type of suburban mall decay in this area but I gave you the blueprint on what to do to keep retail here in greater Cleveland. Reread (or for most of you based on the view count read for the 1st time) my post about How to Save a Supernova Mall and see if you agree. Could this be Macy's positioning themselves for a downtown location???Someone from Macy's has been peaking at my blog I think... OK, maybe not but you don't know!

---

Leave me your thoughts
on any of this
in the Comments Section below.

Get my blog posts sent right to you!

Put your e-mail address under

FOLLOW BY EMAIL

on the right menu and click Submit.

Like, Share, Star, and +1 the blog on Social Media by clicking either the Buttons below after Posted by or the Icons below the comments at the bottom of the screen.

---