Holiday Lights Trolley Ride

I went on a Holiday Lights Trolley Ride through ole Cle-town with these 3 drunkin' elves:

Our point of origin was JUKEBOX where we got free chili, a to-go brew cup with straw, and a Santa hat! Drinking beer from a straw like I was forced to go to church in college sounded fun. To be festive I made my beer of choice Great Lakes Christmas Ale which I had to open a Christmas gift to get at...a gift I was giving someone else...this is the 3rd time I've done this this month. Since I didn't have to drive I figured why the hell not! We all got situated and listened to the best Jukebox in the city until it was time to go. I really, really like this bar. All the things that a bar should be are here with none of the gimmicky fluff. Good tunes. Good brews. Good service. Good people. Good times. A perfect place to start this adventure!

Stop #1 - A Christmas Story House: 

Even though we practically live down the street, we've only ever driven past the A Christmas Story House. It was everything I remembered from the movie, leg lamp and all. They even changed the interior of the house to reflect what you'd see if the movie was actually filmed inside. Thank God there are people out there creative enough (and rich enough) to do such wonderful things all because of a movie they loved when they were younger. I wish the neighborhood was a little less run down when it's dark out tho. I mean it's not bad but those houses are in a historical neighborhood which is rich people slang for how you'd describe grandpa before you put him in a lower middle ranked nursing home. It is a great tourist destination for the neighborhood and city tho and A Christmas Story Run 5k/10k benefits the neighborhood revitalization efforts. I will always be happy to have this piece of Christmassy Hollywood right here in Cleveland.

Stop #2 - The Horseshoe Casino...Higbee's:

Here's a stock photo of what some of the lights look like since I didn't have time to take pictures because I WON $250!...which instantly went to a Christmas gift for Gina. Yes, folks that's right. I'll never be rich. Anyway it was a fun stop and Gina took great pictures I heard. I was too busy being happy and strut walking like a champ!

Stop #3 - Playhouse Square

	This is my favorite place in the city. As I may or may not have said before, it's like Cleveland's version of Disneyland and Vegas all rolled into one in the winter. It reminds me that this city is beautiful and grown up. It shows what happens if you really care about the arts and classic architecture. I could have stood there in a drunk awe all night. I can only hope that this kind of stuff spreads to other neighborhoods. It's certainly worth visiting Cleveland just to see it. I'd say more but I talk about how awesome this area is like every 2 posts.

Stop #4: The Euclid Beach Park Carousel at the Western Reserve Historical Society

So ya, another stock photo because we didn't really stop at this one. We just kinda drove by which was a bummer because it's beautiful! From what we could see they did an excellent job with the whole restoration and building. I definitely want to stop there and check it out soon. 

And yes, I was much to drunk to take a photo from a moving bus and have a conversation about whatever I was talking about. That's what the internets are for.

Stop #5: Nela Park (pronounced N-el-a like when hillbillies say "yellow", Kerry!) in "beautiful" East Cleveland, Ohio

So NELA Park is really a beautiful light setup that I'm going to guess most of you won't risk it to go see (which is understandable) but you are missing out. I actually didn't know this was even here. It's like a mile of lights and lit up figures and presents and up lighting and more lights. You'd think this was a light factory or sumphin! If you do decide to venture out and take picture, you will see police cars across the street watching you and making sure your safe. Hey, East Cleveland know who puts the government issued butter on what side of the government issued bread! Even more of a reason for Cleveland to annex this city...or for you to go and see this wonderful display!

The End!

Thanks Gina for getting the tickets and Kerry for spending time with us. It really was a fun experience being a tourist in my own city and guzzling some holiday cheer while doing so. I don't know which one will last longer, my indigestion from the chili or the Christmas hat, but the memories of this trip will last for a lifetime.

I hope all of you Urban Pioneers have a safe and happy holiday season. I may talk to you one more time in 2015 but if I don't, Happy New Year!

A few last things:

1. If you haven't seen the new Star Wars yet, maybe think about seeing at the Capitol Theater! Tickets on Mondays are like $7 and the place is so big, you won't have to be packed in right next to anyone. Oh and there's beer and wine AND liquor! And you can see it in 3-D!!! Accomplish the Gordon Square triple play >> Eat dinner at Happy Dog, get dessert at Sweet Moses, and see frickin' Star Wars at the Capitol Theater >> Bring a date and it's at least a guaranteed beej!
2. If you haven't been to Playhouse Square yet this holiday season, you're a god-damned Grinch! Take your stupid lights off of you dumb house and bury yourself alive in the backyard!...or I guess going there right now would be way easier for you. I mean how would you bury... never mind. Just go. Oh and after it's dark so you can get the full light-gasm enjoyment!
3. Quit being a jerk and go to the A Christmas Story house already! It's open all year round so I mean you could go like in January when $hits calms down. Just go. If you watch it all day on Christmas, go! Bring friends and buy tickets!
4. #Sadie - If you are too good for my childish and disgusting elf on the shelf pictures, then fine. But...if you're not a soulless PC religious soccer mom, you'll definitely get a kick out of year's 1 and 2 of #Sadie - Crackwhore Elf of the North Stripper Pole. Oh and if you do, no one will judge you for liking a photo or 12 on Facebook. You can just heart it on Instagram if you're trying to keep all of your evil secrets away from your judgy Facebook friends. No one looks at those names but me...and I picture you nude while clicking like...while I'm nude....touching my elf. Sooooo go do that already because likes and comments have been slim this year and I'm ditching if I don't think people care about it.

---

Leave me your thoughts

on any of this

in the Comments Section below.

Get my blog posts sent right to you!

Put your e-mail address under

FOLLOW BY EMAIL

on the right menu and click Submit.

Like, Share, Star, and +1 the blog on Social Media by clicking either the Buttons below after Posted by or the Icons below the comments at the bottom of the screen.

Click on the ads on this page and 

make me a couple of cents!!!

---

An Unexpected Journey

I had the pleasure of going to the Clown's Monday night football game with good friends for $13... plus $25 for parking because Gina had to go right from the game at half time to work or else we'd have car pooled and I would have only had to pay 1/2. I only mention it because I hate paying for parking. HATE. HATE. HATE. Anyways, we drove into the parking garage behind City Hall and unknowingly started our magnificent journey into the depths of poor city planning, no directional markers, and paying a sh!t load of money for something that doesn't benefit you in the least...

I call it... 

Maybe it was our fault parking 5 mins away as the crow flies but I pay my taxes so I have the right to b!tch.

Yup, awesome graphics in this one folks. Buckle in! So years ago there used to be a bridge (it's actually still there) that would take you from the City Hall and Courthouse parking garages right to the stadium. It was painted like a football field and I think even had goal posts. East peasy lemon squeezy right? WRONG! It's closed... and has been for a few years now. Google maps still has it as the shortest route to the stadium from where we parked at a decent 7 min walk. Combine that with the ascension to cheap ticket heaven and you have about a 25 min walk to your seat give or take... but this is the Clowns we're talking about and nothing is ever easy when it comes to them. 65% of all Clowns related suicides end up being botched and cost the depressed little souls every penny of a Cleveland Clinic hospital stay. You just can't escape the misery.

So without the old bridge and with the new bridge being years away from being build, you are left with 3 options:

1. Go west young man:
   

   This is the way we took but only completely by accident. We followed the signs to "Cleveland Browns Stadium" which was our 1st mistake since it hasn't been called that in a few years. We were up stairs and back down stairs, to the entrance and to dead end exits that were blocked off, and everywhere in between. Oh and before you call us retards, we weren't alone. People of all race, gender, and economic standing were walking with us like a mobile Benetton ad of already angry and late for the game "fans". The map to the right clocks your time at 12 mins but with all of our journeying and pee stops it was more like 20 mins before we got to the actual stadium. A 20 min walk would have got us half way there...if we left from HOME! Luckily half our group are avid marathon runners or the other half would have caught and ate them around half way like the movie "Alive".

   Ya we eventually got there but seriously... did we have to really go through that? We have a bridge! What's wrong with it? Whatever it is I now realize that we need more than a bridge. We need proper signage and way-finding. We need a warning that says you better be ready for a 40 min god-damned walk from here to the Stadium or the Rock Hall. We need to completely cover up the tracks, remove the highway, and gradually slope the land from 1 parking garage to Alfred Learner Way. Trains go through tunnels all the time so (and it pains me to say this) fuck them and whatever regulations that are in place that are blocking this from happening. This is exactly why people hate Cleveland so much. It's never just difficult. It's difficult with a side of impossible. It's like standing in line at the DMV and having snipers taking shots at you. Has the mayor or city council ever been to a game they weren't helicoptered in to?


2. To the east. To the east. The road beneath my feet: 
   

   This way, although it looks way further, is about the same sh!tty distance from the start of our adventure to the bitter end. It's the more scenic of the 2 routes since you get to go past the Rock Hall and the Science Center but it still requires about 40 mins of your life to get to your $13 seat. Now they say that the new pedestrian bridge is going to take you from the east side of mall C (almost our starting point) to right between those 2 wonderful buildings over the highway and the train tracks and like Tony the Tiger I say "Great!"... except that didn't help me on Monday...or last season... or the season before. What we have now in this time of rebirth and progress in our downtown area is a city that leaves it up to a sh!tty owner to do anything about fan appreciation. Fine! Name the stadium after a company that's not even in Cleveland. Cool! Close the pedestrian bridge. Swell! Keep raising prices on everything while the team finds new and fun ways to lose! Grand!

   
   
   Look, if this team was at all watchable, I'd walk though fire to see a playoff game...whose tickets would need to be given to me for free because those are way too expensive for me and my 78 ceramic birds, 48 wreaths, and 15 outdoor holiday rugs...BUT I'D DO IT! The fact is though that if you do make the mistake of parking on the north side of route 2, you are in frickin' no man's land and must prepare yourself for an out of your way walk where there is no night life, restaurants, or shops. There are however bums and swear word t-shirt sales a$$holes and ticket scalpers and drunks openly peeing on the side walk in front of kids. I'm all about putting feet on the sidewalks to benefit local businesses but really the only people who benefit are the pedicab drivers taking frustrated crying people from their own personal hell to a corporate sponsored toilet bowl... although if you do go this way, you do get to see 2 cool buildings.


3. Stand on the train tracks and wait for the sweet release of death...I mean you could probably just go home...ya just go home:


Truth be told, I lost all faith in our current owner when he sold the naming rights to our city owned stadium, pocketed the cash, and then ran a sin tax fear campaign so that he could "modernize" it without having to pay for it. This is why rich people are rich. They can easily trick the stupid into allowing them to keep their money with one hand while taking money from them with the other. The Brown's organization doesn't care about Cleveland. They care about milking every single dollar they can from a fan base who's too scared to stop caring. Oh and the people you elect to represent you let them do whatever they want while flipping the bill for all of it with you tax money! We cheer so hard for football in this town and state and it has never truly given you anything back but something to complain about to your friends. The ticket prices don't go down when the team sucks. The parking prices don't go down when it requires a 20 min walk to the stadium. Your team who was almost at .500 last year can dump their QB and sign a guy who's 49 years old and obviously has a death wish to replace him and you are only left sitting there with no answers. They can build a stadium that will never host a Superbowl and its millions of fans and revenue dollars and you can only afford tickets for special seats on top of the lights because this city has been in a sh!t spiral for the last 20 years of your life. 

One last point...it's plain to see that the NFL has removed any and all individuality from each of it's franchise cities so that it can deliver the same awful entertainment while only having to change the color of the team it's for. The only silver lining here is that we weren't really a team while the PC police and Family Values squad was starting to lay down the law. We were just eager to have a team again so we decided to leave our purses and flasks and batteries and dog bones at home. No more drunkin good times, pissing in a trough, chucking sh!t at the opposing players, and whoohooing the flashing middle aged ladies in the cheap seats. Remember when the NFL and WWF were fun? I blame child worshiping soccer moms and their sh!t eating spawn but that's just me and I'm a 35 year old single man-child so who fucking knows. I can only say that when men-only things became marketed to women and children because some a$$hole marketing douche said "We're only really hitting 50% of the marketplace" and "We have to make sure we indoctrinate them early" the world began to suck... and then Monday night happened. The ballet never goes topless to bring in male fans. Women drag us to it and we go to make them happy because we "love" them or want to have sex sometime this month. That's how the invisible hand of the market place works people. Keep making everything in the NFL pink while 35% of players in the league get multiple concussions a year until their brains turn to mush in a stat I just made up. The rich get richer and the rest of us can go fuck ourselves. The end.

Urban adventurers, people who already have the money will fight you at every turn in order to keep their money. Your cause, no matter how pure and good, will never get support unless someone can make money buy exploiting it somewhere. You have to start from the bottom and work your way up as high as you can. Only then can you be a part of the middle class. The mongoose to the high class cobra.

This one made my day!

---

Leave me your thoughts

on any of this

in the Comments Section below.

Get my blog posts sent right to you!

Put your e-mail address under

FOLLOW BY EMAIL

on the right menu and click Submit.

Like, Share, Star, and +1 the blog on Social Media by clicking either the Buttons below after Posted by or the Icons below the comments at the bottom of the screen.

Click on the ads on this page and 

make me a couple of cents!!!

---

Downtown Just Got Serious

So someone has been listening to my prayers at night because in the last few months some major players have stepped up with some game changing projects in Downtown Cleveland. Not just rehabbing an old bank into apartments with a Subway or Domino's on the 1st floor... OH NO!... Like when you're driving into town from Stark county for the 3rd freaking night in a row on your vacation at 11:30 pm and noticing that the skyline is different from Independence--game changing.

So we in Cleveland, like most mid-range cities in the Midwest, have a handful of buildings that you can throw on a skyline silhouette t-shirt that make up our architectural identity as a city. Our skyscrapers are the go to icons for the longest wiener contest that cities have when it comes to who's better. I'm not saying it isn't a good measuring stick for our status in this here U.S. of A. but in the whole scheme of things... well sometimes you want a Space Needle or Gateway Arch to distinguish you from the rest of the similar sized towns who are all doing the exact same thing to try to "revitalize" their downtown areas...THE. EXACT. SAME. THINGS. Sure we have the Rock Hall's pyramid and record player overhead view but in all reality... you can't see it from 77 or 480 or 71 or any of the other highways that carve this city up. I mean Clevelanders know the best spots to get a great skyline view but most travelers get the highway view of the city while driving by and it's kinda... well... ehh at best. Sure we have 3 of the top 4 tallest buildings in a state where the suburbs crush downtowns so it's like being the smartest 17 year old in 3rd grade...but it's something! Truthfully we have a bunch of buildings that used to be impressive before corruption, racism, highways, NAFTA, and poor state planning halted any progress taller than 3 stories in this state for about 40 years. Now we have a drug store on every corner of our sprawling suburban utopias while places like New York and Chicago have torn down Key Towers to build even bigger buildings without thinking twice about it. Well finally we're starting to see progress down the long road towards correcting that...

Cleveland looks like a winter wonderland in this picture!

Let's start with Nucleus... or nuCLEus! (I know I've written about it already but I tie it all up at the end with a nice little bow.) Either way you spell it, it's set to become the 5th tallest building in the state when it's completed. It's going to have it all -- condos, apartments, parking, a hotel, commercial, and the "uh duh" award for continuing the East 4th street retail and restaurants all the way to the Q. Yup, take that 1 block that everyone goes to and continue it another block. Freaking genius! Anyways, it has everything built right in and is mixed use so it's flexible for changing times. Plus it looks like you were bored playing Jenga and added some Legos! Not only is it's height a much welcomed skyline addition but it's unique look is exactly what this city needs... new and different!

We have a sh!t load of history. Hell we've covered up and demolished more history than most cities had in their heyday. Let's get some "new" in here. You can only charge big bucks to live in a concrete coffin for so long before people get tired of blindfolding their friends until the get to their apartment door so they don't actually see how ugly the 9 is from the outside. I'd live in the stairwell of this building just to be able to point to it and say "I live right there!... but we should go to your place to do this because mine is being fumigated and definitely not a stairwell." I only need to tell most people that once for a myriad of reasons. Anywho, it's in a high visibility area with a ton of foot traffic so even past being a new part of the skyline, it'll be right there between dinner at E 4th and the Cavs or Indians game for everyone including out-of-towner's to gawk at.

The other big project that I'd like to point out isn't necessarily going to add to our skyline (maybe in some places) but is going to fix another issue that this city has had for decades... that pile of sh!t that's to the northwest of Public Square!!! The sea of surface parking lots that sits as a scar from when life beat the hell out of us is finally going away! This really needed to happen before any other project that's going on in this city as it is a terrible eyesore that goes on for blocks and is clearly visible from the ceremonial center of our city. It's like having a whole sections of stands removed from our baseball field because we can't sell out games anymore... oh wait. Either/or I say hallelujah to the fact that someone has finally stepped up to take on this project!

Did I Photoshop a turd on this picture?... Most would say "no".

I'll call it the God-send project for now but this little beauty could be a freaking Mega-Walmart for all I care as long as it isn't surface parking. That being said it's way more beautiful than a Walmart and goes from sidewalk to sidewalk like a good urban project should. There's lots of glass and street front commercial spaces. There are weird shaped towers but nothing as tall or Jenga-like as nuCLEus. I can only imagine that if you're building something on a city's "Public Square" you can't get too crazy in the old architectural department. It's again mixed use so it's looking to provide different types of amenities to it's future residents and the current downtown residents and is flexible depending on what the demand calls for. Sure you can bring some restaurants and laundry to the table but usually these large mixed use projects fill a big need like a grocery store or a public relaxation area or a headquarters full of jobs. We'll see what comes along with the apartments and restaurants when we're given more details but in my eyes there's no need to oversell what is already a blessing.

It's shiny, new, and isn't a surface parking lot on our public square.

The Cleveland Browns fan in me says that something's going to happen and one or both of these are never going to get built. It's too much and there are too many forces (financial, regulatory, governmental, fate, whatever) working against it. I have to think that, if it was easy to do, it would have been done already. Can we really keep this momentum moving forward? I guess to get the answer to that you have to not only look at these big projects but at the small ones as well. Downgrading highways to pedestrian friendly boulevards that don't act as walls between us and the Lake Erie shore. Adding bike lanes to once dangerously busy streets. Seeing small businesses open up. Watching new apartment conversions fill up before they open. Seeing people on the streets. There's something different this time around. It's not just a few stadiums and a business tower. It's grass roots and it has some good people leading the way. This just might...just might happen.

---

Leave me your thoughts

on any of this

in the Comments Section below.

Get my blog posts sent right to you!

Put your e-mail address under

FOLLOW BY EMAIL

on the right menu and click Submit.

Like, Share, Star, and +1 the blog on Social Media by clicking either the Buttons below after Posted by or the Icons below the comments at the bottom of the screen.

Click on the ads on this page and 

make me a couple of cents!!!

---

Crime #100

This is post #100 folks! 

100 opinions, adventures, hopes, and dreams. Thanks for reading this silly little blog about my life and my city. It's kept me focused, busy, and opinionated and I'm happy to share it with all of you. Before I get into this major topic I want to let you know that I know crime has touched us all and I am in no way going to try to minimize certain crimes as compared to others. There is a point I am trying to make and I ask that you please understand the big picture before picking apart the little things. The big picture is truly the message and I feel as if I need to make a comment for my own piece of mind. Instead of placing the blame on others, I have chosen to take personal responsibility for my own safety. We tend to point fingers when it comes to crime but I only have control over my own actions...and that's where I plan to start.

Crime is a part of any urban area and has molded once great cities into the patchwork of gentrified neighborhoods, busy downtowns, and dangerous areas that they are today. When you ask people about cities like Cleveland, Buffalo, and Detroit they will usually respond with [insert compliment here] but it's too dangerous still and the schools are terrible. How do you fix a system where crime is glorified and going to school seems like it isn't mandatory? If I had the answer, I'd be a millionaire consultant...but unfortunately I don't have a clue...and it may sometimes seem like neither do our neighbors, business owners, and leaders.

Growing up in the suburbs skipping school was never an option and breaking the law not only disappointed your family but brought along with it the crushing judgement of the community at large. Is that what's missing? Family and consequences? It's hard to say. The problem seems bigger than that and maybe that's it. Maybe it's insurmountable? The culture of crime in urban areas is complicated by many things such as areas of extreme poverty, an "I'm not a rat" mentality of not cooperating with criminal investigations, an Us vs. Them culture against the police or different ethnicities, a history of institutional racism or the perception of such, and no form of civic pride. It ranges from littering to murder and there doesn't seem to be a way to attack one issue without taking resources from another.

So do you start at the top and crack down on the heavy crimes or do you start with littering and jay walking? Crimes of any type leave victims who feel as if they have no outlet and no retribution. They're left scared and bitter at the system that allowed this to happen and for ever day that passes by without a resolution, they become more angry. 1 crime doesn't just leave just 1 or 2 victims tho. It affects the city as a whole and adds to the frustration of all people who call that city a home. That's why it's so dangerous to leave crime unchecked from any angle. I may never be directly affected by a murder in my life but I may be by vandalism or robbery. No matter what it is, it has the chance to ruin my opinion of where I live and what I believe.

As for perception, there is no lack of crime coverage on the news, in the paper, or on the internet. Trust me, there are important and influential people out there that are threatened by the resurgence of our urban areas and will try to bring it down at any turn. That's why it's so important for people to stand up and celebrate when justice is served. When the news conveniently forgets to follow up on crime, people need to get together and make sure that everyone know when, how, and why a crime is solved. It educates the everyday citizen on what they need to do if it ever happens to them and provides a sense of closure to victims of any crime giving them hope that justice will one day be served for them as well. A well informed public is a great tool against the negative culture that we are inundated with on a daily basis at all levels. Think if we never heard anything about 9-11 after it happened. If the public was kept in the dark about the war on terror, we could be living in a completely different time today. A time of fear, misinformation, and doubt about America.

Why does the information seem to fade away the further we get from a crime at the local level? The internet provides us with a vast amount of global information but it only feeds us what we want to consume. If we forget to care about a murder or rape after a few days but continue to crave more and more information about reality stars and pop icons, the media will spoon feed us what will give them more clicks. It is up to all of us to push the media towards reporting on what really effects us and not just tragedy. We should be shaped by our victories and not our defeats. That just doesn't seem to be the case today.

Crime effects different cities differently which mean that each city needs to prioritize its own issues. City government and the local police force need to have their finger on the city's pulse and know what needs to be prioritized 1st. They need to be seen more as protectors and less like big brother. Take for instance "Click it or ticket". We all know buckling our safety belts protects us in the event of an accident but when there's an armed robbery on my street, I want to know that it is being taken care of with as much fanfare as someone who gets pulled over for not wearing a seat belt and that just isn't happening. How about "Drive Sober or get Pulled Over"? There's not a person alive that doesn't know that drunk driving is illegal and could end up in tragedy yet every day we see it on signs and commercials. It's not a friendly reminder. It's an open threat which is fine but when someone comes into my city and murders an innocent person in broad daylight I want whatever info they have on the crime on the evening news every night until that person is convicted and sentenced. In comparison to the heavy crimes that happen almost daily, these petty crimes seem to be getting an unnecessary amount of push in places where they aren't even a blip on the radar. Let's make a deal... cut down on the traffic PSA's and start a campaign that says "Hurt one of ours and we'll hurt you back 2 fold." That message makes me feel like the police are protecting me and not lurking behind highway signs with their lights off looking to jump out and grab me. Murder, rape, robbery,...,then seat belt violators. That's my opinion anyway. I'm sure there's a driving force behind the way things are done (money) but doesn't that seem like it may be a problem.

So what can you do? Well other than just plain old being a law abiding citizen you can start with the easy stuff. Have some civic pride and don't litter. A clean neighborhood will always be perceived as a safe place to be. Make your area as clean and well lit as possible. A place you feel safe to walk is a great place to be at any hour of the day. Turn on your porch light and make sure to call in any street lights that may be out. If you see something, say something. It works (sorta) in airports and it can work on your street as well. There's no harm in it and if you save one life, it's well worth the effort. Stay informed. Go to safety meetings and get all the info you can on what's happening on the streets. You may just have your mind changed on how you perceive things are being handled by law enforcement. Try your hardest not to be a victim. Don't leave thing out in your car or on your porch that may attract people who may want to take them. Be a good neighbor. A great thing about the suburbs is their tight knit sense of community. Meet you neighbors, have block parties, and keep everyone informed of your concerns. Be the squeaky wheel. It's a fact in life that they will always get the grease and you should in this case since your tax money pays the people who are there to keep you safe. No one even comes running if they aren't called.

There will always be criminals in this world but they will always be a minority compared to people who just want to live a good life and be happy. Take it upon yourself to have safety start with you and your family. Carry the torch for safety and show the world that you are on the side of good and you will not tolerate bad things happening in your community. If you feel like it's an up hill battle, talk to your neighbors, community leaders, and police force. Once you become informed you will see that you are not an army of one but a cog in the machine for safety. Progress is fine but for every building that is built in your city there are people who will abandon it if things get too bad. The mistake in the past has been not sustaining the progress that is made with safety, education, and a sense of community. Your city runs on your tax dollars so you in turn must treat it like you are the CEO. Demand that with progress comes a plan to make the best of it for years to comes. You have all the power to make your life a great one where ever you live even if you as an urban adventurer feel like you are the minority. 

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

PS. I'm not going grammar check all my then/than's and effect/affect's. It's just too much work for a weekend. Kick back and relax grammar Nazis!

If the Eiffel Tower can be a huge radio antenna, urban explorers, then a building can be used for anything no matter how iconic. Just set it up to succeed!

---

Leave me your thoughts

on any of this

in the Comments Section below.

Get my blog posts sent right to you!

Put your e-mail address under

FOLLOW BY EMAIL

on the right menu and click Submit.

Like, Share, Star, and +1 the blog on Social Media by clicking either the Buttons below after Posted by or the Icons below the comments at the bottom of the screen.

Click on the ads on this page and 

make me a couple of cents!!!

---

It's only "Tower Complex" without residents

What makes a city a city? If you think about it or even if you have to look it up, you think roads, buildings, and parks and that's all true. What else? Utilities like water and sewer. Transportation like cabs, buses, and trains. Things to do something at like restaurants, bars, other forms of entertainment. Jobs, buildings, hotels. Now take all of those things and plot them out in your mind. Think of a beautiful urban landscape engineered to your dream of what a city is supposed to be...

Back in the day the Van Sweringen brothers along with the firm of Graham, Anderson, Probst, and White came up with the idea and concept for the Cleveland Union Terminal. They used New York City's grand central terminal as the basis for their idea of a large unified train terminal in Cleveland. Over the years different people and groups have added shops, buildings, parking, a casino, a post office, a department store, a hotel, businesses, and restaurants to the original Union Terminal. Tower City is what most people call the whole complex now a days even though it is a collection of different buildings built in the same area fitting into a uniform shape by design. They are all connected in one way or another by the former Union Terminal platform area that was converted into the mall we know today.

So Tower City has all of this stuff going for it even if the city it once knew when it was first opened has dwindled down to what it is today. I notice all of this when I walk to the Higbee building which is part of the Tower City center. I work there when I can as you may know. I gamble at the casino. I shop at the mall. I eat lunch at the food court. I've watched a movie at the theater. I've arrived and departed from the RTA station. I've been in the hotel ball room. I've eaten dinner at the restaurants. There's still a small post office by the entrance to the mall where you can mail a letter and buy stamps. I plan on one day staying at the hotel and going to the top of the Terminal Tower. It really is the center of the city and a self-contained city in itself in some ways...but it's missing something.

If I Sim City-ed a city out in the middle of the desert, what would it be missing? People! Sure there are visitors but cities need people and more specifically residents. For all of these years only 2 people have ever called any building in Tower City home. The Van Sweringen brothers. Sure there have been plans to add residential to Tower City but nothing has come of it. There was no need for it when it all was first built. Cleveland was the 5th largest city in the US. There were people coming to Tower City. As buildings were added we still had a top 15 population and there was no Brecksville's or Strongsville's yet to go to...well not like we know them today anyways. There was a need to fulfill and that wasn't with residential. Today is a different story.

I can tell you from experience that the stock of for sale houses in this city is shit. Sure there are great areas close to downtown but the further you go out, the younger the houses get until you get to this weird limbo area where all the idea of charm and wood work was replaced by rounded entryways into each room and attics that are too short to stand up in. Think a typical house in Parma. That's what they remind me of anyways. I'm all for saving historical structures but just because houses are old, it doesn't mean they need to stick around. I'm actually cool with just bulldozing large swaths of shitty houses in order to build more urban and attractive neighborhoods... but I digress. In a city where the safe neighborhoods are gentrified out of your price range, the medium neighborhoods have houses that only widows can live comfortably in, and the rest is murder central, you'd think that having a prime time address like Tower City Center would be no-brainer for unique, hip, and memorable residential, right?!?

Let's look at it from angle #2. Tower City has a mediocre mall, a movie theater that's about to get some competition from the East Bank and Playhouse Square, the train hub of a desperate for riders transit group, a soon to be new Public Square, a prime location in a city with a downtown rental occupancy rate around 99%, and old unoccupied commercial space. Nothing creates business like having a built in clientele. It's already proven that rentals are being rented as fast as they can come online. You can get to/from here from/to University Circle, Browns Stadium, the Airport, Ohio City, the Flats East Bank, Shaker, and Lakewood all by using the RTA. You can walk pretty much anywhere downtown because you're right there. You could possibly walk to work without going outside. No matter how drunk you are and where, you should always be able to find your building. You can live above a casino, a mall, and a movie theater. You can have city, lake, or river views. You can live in the most iconic building in a city where conversions of old commercial into hip residential is "the thing" since the cost of building is astronomical...well to us mid-westerners anyways. This is (again) a no-brainer. 

I truly believe that if you're going to call something "Tower City" it should have everything that a city compressed in a tower would have including residents. Take a few floors and try it out even. I just can not see this failing as long as it's done at least half right. You can't wait for the glory days to come back. You have to go out there and make things happen in this economy, if you want to survive. Don't think because you're an icon that you'll never become an old laughing stock. This needs to be done for a city that's looking for a leader, an organizer, a legitimizer (ole W would be proud of me for that word!) Show that this city is committed to outside of the box residential in it's downtown!

If the Eiffel Tower can be a huge radio antenna, urban explorers, then a building can be used for anything no matter how iconic. Just set it up to succeed!

---

Leave me your thoughts

on any of this

in the Comments Section below.

Get my blog posts sent right to you!

Put your e-mail address under

FOLLOW BY EMAIL

on the right menu and click Submit.

Like, Share, Star, and +1 the blog on Social Media by clicking either the Buttons below after Posted by or the Icons below the comments at the bottom of the screen.

Click on the ads on this page and 

make me a couple of cents!!!

---

The Big Sell

Before I get into "the big sell" I have some fun things I did recently that are note worthy:

1. We finally went to Slyman's and split a huge a$$ corned beef sandwich! The place is great (like they need me to tell you that?!?)! Good old diner/deli feel and everything positive you've heard is true. Sandwiches the size of your head...check! Is in the world's weirdest location although I'm sure it was a great area to be in back in the day...check! Reasonable prices...check! Crowded...check!--but nothing awful. A few mins tops and that was during lunch rush. We really are hipster douche bags if only for the fact that it took us this long to go there. Sorry Slyman's and we regret making you wait.

2. My parents came up on their own... I know right?!? Let that sink in. And it wasn't to see me! Or that's what they'd lead me to believe. They actually came up to see the Columbus Day parade in Little Italy. Well when I got the call I instantly sprang into action... you know, because I had they day off because I WORK AT A BAAAAAANK!!!! (that was meant to be sung metal style)... and headed out there to witness it for myself. I don't have picture proof since I dropped my phone in a parking lot and smashed it to a million billion pieces but I have the 8 lbs I gained at Pretis to show that we saw the little old people that reminded me of my grandparents, the men dressed like Rocky Balboa (there were like 3 who did so well I'm sure were doing it as a goof), the bread truck that threw out bags of bread during the parade, and all the beauty of the parade itself and the neighborhood. "Dio benedica tutti voi!"

3. I walked around the new Flats East Bank area and ate lunch at the new Beerhead Bar & Eatery. Congratulation Cleveland, you have a truly remarkable waterfront mixed use community in the northern end of the east and west banks of the Flats.The East Bank is remarkable and the boardwalk alone is worth the price of admission. Business, residential, hotel, mass transit, dining, and entertainment all in one neighborhood. It's everything this city was desperately needing in a new development and this definitely delivered. I only wish there was more of that Flats waterfront land that we could continue to capitalize on...oh wait, there's miles of flats shoreline that looks like a tumbleweed factory or is covered in piles of rocks. The second someone doesn't have another phase of this project is the day the zombie apocalypse begins because this idea of a mixed use Flats area that runs from the lake to the steel mills is way way overdue! Put the piles of stone somewhere we can't use...like the middle of the shit hole called the lower east side of Cleveland around ooooh let's say Miles Ave. Oooo or Glenville! That place is a dump. If you live there and don't care about it, why should we?

OK, now that that is out of the way...

In my neighborhood of Tremont and around some of the touristy places in the city you always see young people walking around, pointing, and explaining things to groups of similar aged friends or a pair of cautious looking older parents. It happens a lot really. We actually have a responsibility to the city to try to sell it to outsiders so that they visit/spend more or maybe even move here...or so they don't keep giving you shit about living here like the most negative god-damned broken record ever. It's like when a young good looking couple comes to look at the for sale house across the street. You come out on your porch and pretend to sweep hoping to catch a critique of the house or the neighborhood in their conversation. You're happy that it's a nice looking couple and that no one is "scary looking" to you. You know that if they move in, they'll do some repairs and everyone's home value will go up. You may even look inviting enough for them to come have a conversation with so you can give them you pitch. We all want good neighbors and we all want great things for our communities so we take some pride in where we live and try to recruit. Hell, I'm totally guilty of this. Gina, my parents, family, friends... Ya I'm constantly trying to sell poor Cleveland to all sorts of people:

• Take for instance the "I have kids and can only get away to Outback once a month between sports, play dates, work, and whatever other responsibilities" people. They just never have the time to come to Cleveland and decided that before they had kids they would follow that time tested suburban path to safety and overwhelming responsibility. No matter how much you pump up the city the glazed-over look in their eyes just screams "stop wasting my time with words and get my adrenaline running and pour cheap booze on all of that!" Understandable and we have that here. Screw architecture and public art. They want entertainment soaked in rum and get it all done by 11:00 pm so they can get the babysitter home on time. Those are fun for me if you can string a few of them together in a month. Hit it hard and fast! Damn the consequences!

• Another one of my favorite people are the "God I wish we did this before we..." people. Kids, marriage, got too old, bought a house outside the city, whatever... they live in constant regret and now for some reason can't get themselves to make the move. They come over a lot. They drive the 35 mins into the city regularly and get dinner. They go to sporting events. They go to festivals. They'd pull the trigger and move here in a heartbeat but schools, price, age, no close family, mortgage is underwater, the weird feeling of adulthood while city living is for the young, I love it but my husband/wife blah blah. Actually it always ends up being a combination of a few of those. They tend to make their reasoning very complicated in order to add some actual weight to their argument...which still only boils down to either fear of change or the fear that the city will go to shit again and they'll be stuck in a lease or mortgage in a constantly burning gang land of rape and property damage. I actually had that fear so I'm totally in tune with this group. Hell I was in this group for a long time. They're fun because they love the city and feets on the ground means money in the pockets of the local businesses so it's all good. Anyone who's a fan of the city here is a friend of mine... and a good adventuring buddy.

• I talk to these people a lot and they are complicated even though their ideal is simple... they're the "All I do is watch the news and read the paper" people. They know where every piece of trash is laying on the side of the road and where every violent crime was committed. They were in Cleveland once because they were forced to by work or for jury duty. They have awful memories of being asked for a quarter by a bum and they're never going back! Deep down these people are "Racist white person" and "I'm too good for poor people fo-yuppie" and sometimes even "Poor Republican person". You know, scared white folks with a sense of entitlement. You feel compelled to bring these people out of the 1950's like you feel compelled to correct a person who keeps mispronouncing a word trying to seem smart. If you could only find a common bond then you could build on it and show them that there is good in Cleveland just like in all cities...nope. Just like their thoughts on interracial marriage, the Muslim religion, and vegetarianism... they're wrong and they ain't budging no matter how much you try. They believe city living is for the poor, colored, and uneducated. They need their McCastle, their white picket moat, and their chariot to get them places that give them low quality food at reasonable prices. These ideals are really openly taught here in Ohio and in other places around the country. They replace things like logic, sound reasoning, and thinking for yourself. These people will only make you feel as awful as they make me feel. Hope that their hate hasn't touched too many others.

• The next group is interesting indeed. They are the "I've lived less than a hour away from Cleveland and have never been here" people. There's no good personal reasons for it. They just enjoyed their town so much that they never really had a need to leave or they had a weird upbringing that was church centered or they had scared parents or they were 90's kids who hung out at malls and went of field trips to farms. Even though they're my age or older the walk down the street with such child-like wonder in their eye that they get easily overloaded with everything. I often here "there's just so much to take in" or "I never knew there was so much here". You know what helps? Movies and TV shows. They paint such a "calm, fun, safe place to get into so many adventures" picture of downtown's that if that's your only reference point, you forget crime stats and the news and just focus on the "Tall buildins" and "beautiful fountains" and "all these people". I love love love these people because they don't have any fear or if they do, there's not a lot of it. They look at all of this great stuff just like I do. With wonderment and awe and promise. Most of the time they're just happy to not be at a Friday's looking across a strip mall at a Dunkin' Doughnuts.

• The last group of people I'll talk about today are the most grumpy I come across. I know why but they'll never admit it. It's the "I used to live here when it all went to shit" people. These were Clevelanders from back in the day when cities were gritty and the factory jobs were still here. They wear old violent crime stats for newly gentrified places like Tremont and Ohio City as a badge of honor on their forehead for everyone to see. Before cupcake places and wine bars there were the dirt covered factory workers bar where you got a shot and a beer, listened to the Indian's game, stumbled home just wildly enough to avoid random gun fire. I picture their homes being like the kids home from the new Willy Wonka movie. 9 people sleeping in one room and the roof has a leak in it. Anyways, the reason their so grumpy is because the same streets where there dog was shot, their kid's bike was stolen, and their brother-in-law lost his leg to tetanus from a rusty fence are now safe and warm and gentrified and filled with hipster hangouts, 4-star restaurants, and art galleries. They had to work 60 hour a week swing shifts and I can take the day off and drink a chi-tea latte in the park without being attacked by wolves. They do however through all of that grit and anger have a wealth of history that most of us were either too not born yet or too scared to be a part of. They remind you not to take any of this for granted so I like talking to them as long as they don't start swinging a rust pipe wrench at me while they flash back to the Hough riots.

There are more but I won't make this longer than it already is. I do my best based on who I'm selling to but there is no book for this. Everyone's different and you just have to be as positive and realistic as you can. I take it personally a lot and I can't do that because it damages relationship...that's hard not to do though. Look urban pioneers, you can't sell you dream to everyone because you are not everyone. Just hope that your circle overlaps another's enough to be able to share in the ven diagram experience.

---

Leave me your thoughts

on any of this

in the Comments Section below.

Get my blog posts sent right to you!

Put your e-mail address under

FOLLOW BY EMAIL

on the right menu and click Submit.

Like, Share, Star, and +1 the blog on Social Media by clicking either the Buttons below after Posted by or the Icons below the comments at the bottom of the screen.

Click on the ads on this page and 

make me a couple of cents!!!

---

House Hunting and Making the Best

Hi every...two of you. I'm back from a bit of a mental vacation. I don't have much of a focus at this point in my life and even less time to keep myself entertained so I took some time to... well...lay around and watch TV. I mean that's not all of it but it's what I spent my blogging time doing. It happens. The problem is though that this city never gives you a chance to take a vacation until the middle of a brutal late January winter grey-out. So in short, here's what I've been up to:

---

We're house hunting. Unsuccessfully up to this point but it's been quite an experience to say the least. One positive that has come out of it so far is that we get to explore beautiful Cleveland. Sometimes it's the more boring safe areas of the city where there's really no reason to go to because there's nothing to do because it's a residential neighborhood. Sometimes it's a questionable section of town that's got some stuff but is on the fence when it comes to emerging or going down the tubes. Other times it's discovering a secret little neighborhood that is quietly tucked away from everything. It's been a unique exploring experiences

One of the places we looked at was over off East 185th Street up by the lake in North Collinwood. From everyone we talked to, it was better to be North of Lakeshore Blvd than south...unfortunately there's not much north of the boulevard. I have a hard time believing that all of Cleveland's lakefront doesn't look like Bratenhal. I'm not sure who designed all that but they really needed to abandon the "there needs to be a house on every square inch of open space for the boys coming home from WWII" mentality and go just a bit more suburban...or Gold Coast-ian with some high priced lakefront high rises! Unfortunately it doesn't look like anyone who can make a difference cares at all about this area. At the very least it could be the West 117th of the east side with some big box stores but I think Gina and I counted over 15 hair care product shops from 90 to the shore. It's a shame too because this house was dynamite. There's no RTA rapid line to get quickly downtown. There's that wonderful rush hour drive on 90 though which I've heard makes priests want to murder bags full of kittens with bags full of babies while listening to Black Sabbath. Unless you're a salon or barber shop, there's not much to do along that strip. We begged our Realtor to talk us into the neighborhood because we really weren't seeing it.

She recommended that we stop over at Bistro 185 for some dinner. It's a great little place right there on 185th with a smokey bar look and feel and an amazing retro blade sign out front. They are definitely one of a few hands holding up the fine dining and small business torch for the street but they do it very well. The food choices on the menu were unique and everything looked appetizing. The wait staff were very attentive and genuinely concerned with whether we were happy or not. When you are the ambassadors for the whole area and your survival depends on happy experiences, you really go out of your way to make everything as pleasant as possible. This place really understands how important they are to the neighborhood. Overall it was a great experience and the food was really really good! I'm not sure if the place needed a bit more polish or if that was part of the experience as a whole but it certainly was a welcomed 1st meal in that part of the neighborhood and we will be back.

---

I went to the Ohio City Street Festival with Gina, her cousin Ryan, his wife Natalie, and their daughter Evelyn who is easily in the top 10 cutest little girls ever in the history of the world. The festival was fun and well attended. a newly paved W 25th Street was closed and lined with booths. The restaurants and the West Side Market were open. Ohio City Farm was open for tours with a kids booth outside the entrance. There was a stage in the city lot with bands playing. Every bar had the Browns game on. It was a hopping place...not as hopping as Taste of Tremont but it was a good time.

We stopped at Nano Brew for some lunchie-munchies because we saw an open seat and I personally wanted to sit on their awesome new back patio which resembles a multi-leveled metal tree house with a bar. This thing is epic and I bet was really fun to chill on this summer and watch sun sets or time pass or whatever. The food  and drinks were great but the wait was a tad longer than normal because of the festival I'm sure. I had a burger with Peanut butter and some sort of vegetable jelly on it. I now officially love PB on cooked meat with 2 examples, here and of course Happy Dog.

This is us going up to level 2

---

Gina and I went to Mapleside Farms one night to enjoy fall for a bit and forget about the stresses in life. Much to our surprise 1) there was a festival going on so the place was swarming with families and kids. It gave it a nice atmosphere because frankly it wasn't really swarming. Something that open would take a lot of rug rats to be swarming. 2) There's a new barn for weddings and receptions in the back. When I say new, I mean new to us. What a great place to have a fun, non-traditional wedding and or reception. The views and the pictures are stunning I bet. 3) The restaurant that used to be there is now only for special events. How sad is that?!? The best waldorf salad, gone forever. Welp, hopefully someone is nice enough to get married and/or have their reception there and invite me and put the waldorf salad on the menu...or just do it buffet style so I can have a full plate of it and some free scotch from the bar. PS. Also have scotch at the bar.

To make up for the dinner we didn't get there, we bought apple everything from the bakery/gift shop. Their apple cider is epic so we got some of that. A Caramel Apple because Gina loves...well...dessert. Some apple strudel. A bear claw. Apple toilet paper. A hat made of apples... you get the idea. Apples!

We ended up getting dinner at the Brew Kettle on the way home. It was good. Not as good as anything in Cleveland but it was good.

---

We hoped to meet Betts and Kari at St Paul and the Broken Bones at the House of Blues but he forgot so Gina went with me for a bit before she had to go to work and I stayed the whole time because I just can't get enough of this band. They're so damn entertaining! I've literally seen the same show by them 3 times now and I walk out like one of those scream Beetles women from Ed Sullivan. If you've never seen them live, please YouTube them especially if it's a late night appearance. They are super good! I also got this awesome t-shirt and a vinyl copy of their 1st album. Score! Plus Frank Turner has a new album out! Buy it buy it buy it being shipped as we speak and it's vinyl!

---

I missed Hingetown Hoedown :( I just couldn't get the energy or the drive to go out in to the cold rain and face the world that day. I was not feeling my best and couldn't bare to leave the couch let alone go have what I could only assume to be a great time. Sorry Hoedown people. I wish the circumstances were different. I definitely love the idea and hope to make it to next year's.

---

Well Walnut Wednesday's are over but since I blogged about it, I made it to all the rest. I even managed to drag Gina to one and another time I ate in the rain. When I'm downtown for work on days not named Wednesday, I like to explore new places like PizzaFire which is about a block away. You order a personal pizza, add the toppings Chipotle style, and then wait for it to cook... um... regular style? Anyways, if you can build your own "something" lord knows there a place for it and this one is pretty good. After I grab a bite I go wandering around looking at stuff and taking pictures and whatnot before heading back. It makes me happy and I will never get sick doing it. No matter what, this time is a pure blessing in my life for all the other $hit that goes on and I recognize it completely.

---

I got 4 tickets to Indians home closer for my Dad's birthday thinking that this would be the "win and you're in game" for the Tribe to get into the playoffs... well the Tribe was eliminated about a week before and no one came up for it but my Dad. So him and I went to the casino for a few hours before the game! I'm still writing this blog and not rolling around nude in a bed full of supermodels and coke so needless to say we didn't hit the jackpot but we had fun. (Call you tell I rewatched Wolf of Wall Street last night?!?) The game was great too. The tickets were the best I had all season and the weather wasn't anything insane in either direction. Very comfortable. Oh and the Indians won! A Cleveland victory is inherently a moral victory since more than likely it doesn't mean winning a championship but will always make us feel better about next year. Happy Birthday Pop on 10/19.

---

Leave me your thoughts

on any of this

in the Comments Section below.

Get my blog posts sent right to you!

Put your e-mail address under

FOLLOW BY EMAIL

on the right menu and click Submit.

Like, Share, Star, and +1 the blog on Social Media by clicking either the Buttons below after Posted by or the Icons below the comments at the bottom of the screen.

Click on the ads on this page and 

make me a couple of cents!!!

---