Friday, November 7, 2014

CLE Itinerary 1

This is not going to be a long post because, basically, readership has been way down on the old blog so I'm going to keep it simple and not fret too much about it. This one is just going to give you a list of places I like to take people when they come up or recommend to people who are going to spend the day downtown. Now since people who come up mainly are coming from the Stark county area, I have to keep the experience safe and shiny. I can't take people to Johnny's Bar on Fulton or recommend the newly renovated League Park for the first time they come up.. I mean they'd have a heart attack and die the second we drove through the neighborhoods to get there. Let's just say that this is like a Time Square tour of downtown Cleveland.

CLE Itinerary 1 - Inspired by "Gina and I's 1st big downtown date":
  • When: Any time of the year. Both snow and sun have their perks with this one.
  • 1st stop: Lunch at Noodlecat
    • Even though I didn't take her here on this particular date, it was part of another date. This is one of my favorite places to get a good easy meal downtown. In this Jonathon Sawyer Japanese-American mash up, think ramen noodle soup on steroids and delicious finger sandwiches. Intrigued aren't you??? They take great food and mix it in with your favorite $.38 college breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Order a beer with your meal and it's like you're right back in your dirty $1200 a month apartment that you share with 7 other people and pay for with your parent's money. Don't get me wrong though, the quality of the food is top notch and the taste is even better. Check out the lunch menu here.
  • 2nd stop: The Rock and Roll Hal of Fame
    • Most of you haven't been here since it opened in 1995 but it's an awesome experience and a great place to get lost for a few hours. The cost to get in is fairly reasonable and the gift shop has some awesome stuff. It's hard to describe the experience but as a fan of rock and roll music, it's a much needed reminder of what real music sounds like and where it came from. You'll be jamming to WMMS for the rest of the week after you leave.
  • 3rd stop: GE Chandelier
    • This wasn't up when Gina and I went on the date that inspired this list but it's a great addition to the list! Stop and see the largest outdoor chandelier in the universe! The GE Chandelier is located above the intersection of Euclid and E 14th St in beautiful Playhouse Square. The lights are bright and twinkling in this area so bring a camera and snap some selfies. It's a must see in a city that's more known for it's grit than it's glitz.
  • 4th stop: East 4th Street
    • Cleveland's hip entertainment district has a ton of choices for places to get a great meal and a drink. If you go in the summer, you can sit on one of their many outdoor patios spaces and have a great meal and even better people watching. If you go during the winter, start at the south end, work your way north, and end up in the beautiful Cleveland Arcade. Their Christmas decorations are amazing so allow some extra time for pictures. It's a beautiful building inside no matter what the season. Don't valet park or park in the casino garage! Park in one of the many surface lots for a much cheaper rate.
    • A must stop and shop is the CLE Clothing Store on the north end of East 4th. I'm hoping most everyone has heard of them before or maybe even have a shirt or 2 of theirs. I'm hoping to get Cleveland Skyline socks for Christmas from there. Anyway, it's a great walk through even if you're short on cash but you can't help but end up getting something even if it's just a cool bumper sticker.
    • I'll put this note here at the beginning: I recommend putting in reservations to any East 4th restaurants. I haven't been to all of the restaurants on East 4th but there is one I'm kinda sweet on. The Greenhouse Tavern is Chef Jonathon Sawyer's flagship restaurant (I know, another Sawyer restaurant but he is awesome!) with a menu that may take a few minutes to get used to. Don't be scared of the 1/2 a pigs head or the liberal use of the word "FRITES". I'll give you a hint... everything here is delicious! I usually get the crispy chicken wings but if this is an early date night, you may want to try anything else since they're heavy on garlic, scallions, and jalapenos. They're out of this world but unless she gets them too... or is planning on getting black out drunk... you may want to stay away. Seriously, you'll be sweating these out the next day but they're worth it! If it's you and your buddies, go nuts! Maybe even look into getting the half a pigs head for the table. I saw a family with little kids eating it recently so don't be a pussy! Also, don't get dessert just yet. I'll tell you why later.
    • Next, get tickets to a show at Hilarities (also ahead of time). It's Cleveland's best comedy club and most weekends you'll get to see one of the country's top comedians. Headliner showtimes are usually at 7:30 pm or 9:30/10 pm Friday and Saturday with a possible Thursday show and/or Sunday show thrown in. You can check out their calendar here. Also, sign up for the free tickets. I've won multiple time.
    • I didn't do this on our date but I have added it to this night out plan. After the show is over head to the north end of East 4th to the Chocolate Martini Bar. I know, it sounds a bit foo foo but get over it and enjoy yourself. For the ladies, chocolate martinis with chocolate rims. Ya let that sink in. For the men, alcoholic hot chocolate. I'm glad I put this at the end since you may all be in la-la land right now. 1 or 2 of these make a great dessert and keeps the old buzz going.
  • Last stop: The Horseshoe Casino
    • It's a short walk down Euclid to Cleveland's beautiful casino housed in the old Higbee's department store building on Public Square. If it's winter time, you'll get a chance to enjoy Public Square's Christmas decoration and the old Higbee's holiday window decorations outside the casino. If it's summer, enjoy the views of Public Square with all of it's squareness and head on in. Put $20 in a machine or on a table and try to win big! There are 2 great bar areas on the 2nd floor to chill out in and the drink prices are pretty reasonable for being in a casino. If you're just looking, it's decorated beautifully and has a lot of shiny things to look at.
  • Too drunk to drive home? (We took the train but you may not be able to)
    • The Hyatt Regency is located in the Cleveland Arcade if you want to stay in a truly unique hotel. 
    • If you want to stay at something shiny, go to the Westin and enjoy it's $70 million restoration. 
    • If you won the jackpot at the casino, head to the Metropolitan at the 9 Hotel. It is luxurious to beat all luxurious.
Whelp, there's my itinerary for the out-of-towner who wants to experience Cleveland but may not want to deal with the scary parts. I don't blame you for wanting to avoid them either. It's not everyone's cup of tea although I like all the parts of this city so I'm kind of a "Facts of Life" urbanite. "You take the good. You take the bad. Yadda yadda... Cleveland."

There are certainly way more things to do in our fair city like see a play at Playhouse Square, go to the museums of University Circle, shop at the West Side Market, see a show at the Beachland Ballroom, eat at Happy Dog... but those I'll save for another day and another itinerary. See, with only so many hours in a day, you could string together a nice little vacation in the comeback city and still feel safe. Have a good weekend Cleveland. I love ya and never forget... somewhere a Jonathon Sawyer restaurant is making delicious food just for you. Peace out, cub scout!




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