What I believe

First and foremost, I hope everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving!

Second and second most, I hope everyone is so full of turkey and gravy... and I guess cranberry sauce??? that all they have the energy to do is read good ole Sam's blog!... because I'm now speaking to literally 3 of you. Hi Gina, Kerry, and that one Google+ guy from eastern Europe who I see reads my posts but is only known as a stat on my stats page.

Now back to the show... A couple of posts ago (I just feel like I need to help) I made mention to a "list of what I believe" when it comes to rebuilding a strong urban core and fixing our broken suburbs. Lists (and in extension this blog) help me organize my thoughts. See I have tons of random ideas and I'm sure most of them are ridiculous but I don't want to lose any of them. Like for instance - I think you can build a large building in downtown Cleveland on Public Square and put a Macy's on the first 2 floors over underground parking and below class A business space and up-scale residential... and it will work! See the Marshall Field and Company Building in Chicago as a partial proof of concept. There's a growing population of people downtown and they need a place to shop for department store stuff and clothes that aren't t-shirts. It's a strong, well known brand and they have a presence in urban areas. They fill a retail void without squashing small business. Just make it the regional flagship store or something and demolish the one at Great Northern. That mall's gonna die in a few years anyway. More about that some other day.

So not that anyone cares but here's a outlined list of "what I believe" as promised:

• Per-acre, our downtowns have the potential to generate so much more public wealth than low-density subdivisions or massive malls by the highway. For all that revenue they bring in, downtowns cost considerably less to maintain in public services and infrastructure.
• Do anything you can to fix up underutilized buildings in an urban area, because that’s where your wealth comes from.
• Mixed-use high density developments will pay off the infrastructure investment (roads, water, sewer, etc…) and start creating tax revenue much faster than single use low density suburban subdivisions. In most cases those subdivisions can take decades to pay off the infrastructure investment since they produce a fraction of the tax revenue and involve more infrastructures since they occupy a lot more land.
• Business in the front. Parking in the back.
• Build up not out.
• By giving people transportation options, you empower them to incorporate transportation into their lives as they see fit. Communities of thought form based on these options and start to mold the fabric of the urban environments that they occupy and use. The financial benefits of alternate transportation options begin to become attainable thus adding to an individual’s buying power. This buying power takes the emphasis off of the automobile and puts it into arenas that better benefit the community such as home buying/improvement, entrepreneurship, local consumerism and an increase of each along alternate transit routes.
• Access
• Make transportation options available for everyone
• High, middle, and low class
• Handi-capable
• Residents and visitors
• Reactionary – Make sure these groups have access to multiple transportation options:
• Already established high concentrations of residential
• Already established mixed residential/retail
• City business center
• Entertainment districts
• Speculative – Support Transit Oriented Development:
• Along existing transportation corridors where multiple options exist
• Projects that include mixed use development and multiple transportation options in their plans
• Projects that include rehabbing/improving already existing secondary transportation options
• Comfort
• Security
• Security for all transportation options is top priority
• Make sure public perception of security exists and is positive
• Stops/lanes are in safe, well lit, and often patrolled areas
• Provide protection from weather and other traffic
• Ease of use
• Do not overcomplicate transportation options, maps, and/or payment options and amounts
• Provide clear and easy to follow instructions and general information at stops, in apps, and on the web
• Have in-person support when and where possible
• Convenience
• Make the transportation costs lower than parking/gas
• Supply alternate modes of transportation additional right of ways during congested times
• Provide bike racks close to events whenever possible
• Promotion of car-alternate transportation
• Environmental Impact
• Safety
• Efficiency/Speed
• Avoid traffic congestion before, during, and after big events
• Promote direct routes from high interest place to high interest place (ie Airport to Downtown)
• Avoid looking for parking
• Health Benefits
• Walking
• Cycling
• Fresh Air
• Financial Benefits
• Alternative to high gas prices
• Alternative to high parking costs and tickets
• Better Urban Environments
• Overall Cost Effectiveness (taxes)
• Walkability
• Safety
• Find out from the existing business base what it is that government can do to increase their number of employees by 1.
• Instead of only rewarding new businesses for moving to your city, reward businesses that have stayed in the city, especially if recent times have been tough.
• The possibility of receiving common requests/complaints allows you to:
• Make multiple existing businesses happier with minimal effort
• Show other businesses outside of your city that you can take care of common roadblocks that they may also be dealing with
• Eliminate out of date and unnecessary governmental red tape
• Keeps your finger on the pulse of business community in your city
• Adds jobs
• Promote a business friendly environment
• Businesses from outside your city take notice
• Word of mouth from existing business owners is great promotion
• Promotes city loyalty and reduces the chance for business to move away
• Start and promote incubator programs
• Provides an easy path to small business and promotes collaboration between local businesses as a support mechanism
• Small business incubation
• Make it a yearly competition to increase preparedness and possibility of success
• Predict the success rate of each applicant business
• Reward businesses that provide needed services
• Use current unused storefronts in decent areas as incubator space
• Have a graduated rent structure to promote early growth
• Provide high speed internet access
• Reward incubator businesses that decide to stay in the city/neighborhood
• Arts
• Diversify the type of artists in the program
• Offer low cost open work space and allow it to be creatively used
• Use current unused storefronts in decent areas as incubator art galleries
• Use artists on public works projects where necessary
• Promote public art projects as a form of city beautification
• Use group buying power to get better cost on supplies
• Find local companies and institutions to sponsor the programs and volunteer services
• Marketing
• Banking support
• Financial programs
• Educational opportunities
• Networking
• Past incubator businesses/artists
• Have the 2 programs work together
• Arts can provide decorating, marketing, branding, etc…
• Businesses can provide storefronts, promotion, performance space, etc...
• Support small, incremental investments over a long period of time. Make sure that they are high return investments that build community wealth and prosperity. [Strong towns approach]
• Easily falls within the city’s budget
• Plays to the strengths of the community
• Engages citizens and neighborhoods to discern what the pressing needs are
• Quick results with a small amount of energy
• More bang for your buck
• Little to no long term financial liabilities
• Promote renewable energy and recycling
• A onetime investment for years of renewable energy
• Promotes cost savings and environmental awareness
• Shows forward and progressive thinking

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My Walk Downtown

11/10/2014 - Bank holidays... they're a pain when you need to go to the bank for one reason or another. I guess now-a-days though you can pretty much do anything from an ATM but you always seem to need to get a cashiers check on Arbor day or whatever crazy holidays banks celebrate. I can remember how much I envied bank and government workers for their generous amounts of days off while I had to go in to my healthcare job which pretty much involved me working on every holiday. Now however... I say nah nah na boo boo to all you poor schleps who had to work on Veteran's Day... oh and who lets a Tuesday holiday go by without also taking the Monday before it off. Not this guy! 4 day weekend!!!!

Luckily or unluckily (I guess depending on if you're married or not) Gina had to work 12 hour shifts on both days. Ya my running buddy -- who I drag downtown further away from her hot farmers on green mechanical monsters in the middle of nowhere listening to songs about beer and trucks -- wasn't around to bore to death with fun history stories about our fare city while she walks holes in her shoes from new billboard to new shop. I'm sure she was crushed.

As I popped up from the Flats, I got to see a little sign history... and in chronological order too. The Tower city sign doesn't really seem to point to anywhere anymore. It used to give you directions to the tower city parking lot way back when but I think that's gone now. I'm not sure why it was taken away but I remember going down there to park. It feels as if over the years the powers that be have slowly taken away any left turns on Ontario or West Huron. It's like it's the edge of the downtown world. Even as you walk you can't see down the hill to the river because of the overgrown brush behind the fence. It's the perfect boundary to keep you in and not interested in what's across the river or the nature that's calling you from below.

You can only really start seeing the flats once you get to Tower City. Now don't get me wrong, I see the point of view of the Tower City folks in that they want a beautiful view but the area between them and the river is PRIME REAL ESTATE!... and not for Casino Phase 2 unless it's part of a tall structure that includes condos, apartments, and retail. Like Macy's level retail. Big and universally accepted. Stop hiding it from everyone and let us enjoy the flats for more than the glorified parking lot that it is. Yes kids, that's 2 flats rants in a row! This one was a bit more tame. I'll stop now and continue on my walk.

I continued walking until I got to the "Welcome to Cleveland" sign. This is a newer sign but is only cool enough to be here I guess. It greats you as you get off of the highway and head to the casino or stadium parking garages. I think that hits a good percentage of traffic but there really should be about 7-8 more of these. Be proud of the city you are and make sure everyone knows it!...and greet surface road travelers as opposed to highway drivers who are just passing through. Their trip should be as dull and boring as possible in my opinion. That being said, put other signs here:

1. If there's one at the airport, I haven't seen it but it should be there
2. One on Clifton Blvd on the Lakewood border
3. One on Lorain as you cross the Rocky River
4. One on Lakeshore Blvd as you come in from Euclid
5. One on Euclid Ave as you come in from East Cleveland
6. One on Shaker Blvd as you come in from Shaker Heights
7. One on Broadway Ave as you come in from Garfield Heights
8. One on Pearl Rd as you come in from Parma

It's also kinda nice that this sign was here and this ad campaign was thought up before Lebron decided to come back. I really don't want the city to use the revenue generated by 1 man as a crutch especially when he could up and leave... again. We made our strides when he wasn't here and we should continue on that path as if he wasn't. I'll bet on a group over 1 man any day.

Oh and in case you forgot... Lebron plays here and there are 2-4 billboards downtown to remind you. I like Lebron. I really do. I didn't when he left and no matter what excuses are made and how much better he is this time around, I will always feel some sort of indifference when it comes to him. The thing that makes it worth it for me is that his story parallels many boomerangs who left after high school and returned later in life. They're good people too and they care about where ever it is they call home. They went and maybe took advantage of opportunities that they couldn't have taken on here. Good colleges, jobs, weather, etc... The fact is that for whatever reason they're back and ready to contribute to the well being of this city. I applaud that but keep in mind the biblical tale of the prodigal son... and how much I hate that story.

The other thing that miffs me is that Lebron's not from Cleveland and he and his people make that very well known. We hold him in the highest regard but when it comes down to it his highly publicized humanitarian efforts tend to happen outside of Cleveland. Don't get me wrong, Akron needs help too and it's great that he spend so much time and effort helping them. I'll say this... this is not an anti-Lebron paragraph. It's more of a "I wish that I had Jesse's girl" kinda paragraph. If "Jesse" was Akron and "girl" was some sort of local hero. Someone along the lines of Drew Carey but who had a business in the city and enough money to build condo's along the lakefront. Someone who championed our cause with some mega financial backing. Like Dan Gilbert is to Detroit or like Donald Trump is to New York or Warren Buffett is to Omaha... somewhere in middle America. 

In the second half of the 19th century and early in the 20th century all of these millionaire's (although none born here) lived in Cleveland and on the same street, Euclid Ave:

Families living along "Millionaire's Row" included those of John D. Rockefeller (during the period, 1868-84),^[2] Sylvester T. Everett, Isaac N. Pennock I (inventor of the first steel railway car in the US), arc lightinventor Charles F. Brush, George Worthington, Horace Weddell, Marcus Hanna, Ambrose Swasey, Amasa Stone, John Hay (personal secretary toAbraham Lincoln and Secretary of State under William McKinley), Jeptha Wade (Cleveland benefactor and founder of Western Union Telegraph),Alfred Atmore Pope (iron industrialist and art collector), Worthy S. Streator (railroad baron, coal mine developer, and founder of the city of Streator, Illinois), and Charles Lathrop Pack. Euclid Avenue's most infamous resident was con artist Cassie Chadwick, the wife of Leroy Chadwick, who was unaware that his wife was passing herself off to bankers as the illegitimate daughter of steel magnate Andrew Carnegie.

-From Wikipedia

We must not be a city that produce's genius millionaires on the regular huh? There are wealthy people in Northeast Ohio who regularly donate to the universities, museums, hospitals, and charities located in Cleveland which is wonderful and helps us push forward into the future. Unfortunately they do it from Chagrin Falls, Bratenahl, and Gates Mills. I can't blame them though. Cleveland was a nightmare when they were growing up and just like I don't dare step foot into East Cleveland for any reason, those kinda things stick with you. Since I was questioned on the tone of my last post I'll say this... Thank God for all of the people who help this city continue to thrive and pull itself out of the 50 year depression that nearly destroyed it... I just hope that one day we have a hero.

I have been hearing some pretty wonderful things recently about the 5th Street Arcades so I made that my next stop... and boy am I glad I did. In cold winter cities like ours there is a lull in sales from sidewalk shops when the snow and the wind whip up. Back in the long long ago before suburban malls came along and exploited the laziness in everyone, someone had the brilliant idea to put a roof over the streets where the shops were. This means that you could shop at some of your favorite stores all year long without the fear of frostbite or losing a small child in a snow drift. A wonderful day indeed!... and then retail dried up in Cleveland leaving these beautiful reminders of our once glorious past abandoned and practically empty. Go Walmart.

Today these beauties are near capacity as downtown dips its toes into the retail waters again testing the market temperature. Currently it's lukewarm but getting warmer as small independent business and start-ups fill storefronts across the city and service a growing downtown population. Even though there's not a lot of big well known players there are a lot of designer, arts and crafts, and vintage out there right now and they are holding there own. 3 major factors that play into their success are:

1. A supportive city and a great business plan
2. Lack of any major competitive retail
3. A growing demographic of hipsters, millennials, and artists

The next great retail giants are out there and if this city continues to fully support small business, we may see some of our own grow into major players in their markets and industries. Lord knows we have the beautiful spaces like this to put them in as they grow. That's what's great about this time in Cleveland's history... potential and hope.

From the arcades I walked over to Public Square and was able to get a decent view of a press conference the county was having about some major projects around downtown. One of them was the nuCLEus project which is being put together by Stark Enterprises. The plan is to build a $250 - $350 million mixed use development in the space currently occupied by a surface parking lot and some run down buildings between E 4th St and The Q. It's the latest development plan in the list of great projects in Cleveland over the past 5 years but it's not Stark's 1st plan in downtown. Years ago there was a project that was put together by Stark that would have built a similar concept on the surface lots just Northwest of Public square. That plan unfortunately never materialized. You may not know Stark Enterprises by name (or get them confused with Stark Industries from the Marvel universe) but if you've ever shopped at Crocker Park or The Strip just outside of Belden Village, you have them to thank.

Towards the end of the press conference CEO Robert Stark stood up in front of the small group of us and basically said the words that are written on my heart for this city. He talked about what used to be and the recent strides that have been made. He reminisced about being a boy and loving to go downtown. He talked about the importance of mixed use development and its interaction with the sidewalks, streets, and people. He emphasized the need and demand for retail, residential, and class A commercial in downtown as it continues to grow and hover around 95% occupancy. He made sure that we understood why the county was a part of this public/private joint venture and that nothing gets done in today's economy without a buy in from multiple parties across lines that haven't traditionally been crossed. Finally he ramped up the rah-rah Cleveland talk in a Howard Dean type of way but made sure that the message was true. It touched the hometown fans in all of us and I hung on every word. I really did smile most of the time... well there was an old Asian lady who started screaming in here native language at County Executive Fitzgerald from the sidewalk. Her tone and the look on her face didn't really convey a positive message... but other than laughing at that for a brief moment, I smiled the whole time. I was inspired. Not that I didn't already but I believe that this will be a game changer and I trust the hands that are guiding it. It unfortunately won't be completed for the RNC in 2016 but like a true business man, Stark hopes to have the parking garage open and ready for the luxury automobiles that will fill our streets during that time. You gotta love a man with vision. 

Soon the Geis's and the Stark's of this city will become house hold names and forever be known as the people who helped rebuilt downtown. They will be remembered along side the Van Sweringen's and the Jacob's as people who saw the potential of downtown as a profit center and as a great city. I'm not naive, I know they're businessmen but they took a chance and that's what's memorable.

Once the speech was over I took a quick tour of the Soldiers and Sailors monument. Yes there's an inside and if you've never been in there... YOU ARE MISSING OUT! History buffs, this is a must see. It's beautiful and historical. The man who was working the door was very passionate about what the monument and museum were all about. Even if you had no clue what it was or what it was memorializing, he's there to help.

My last stop was to the casino. I'm still writing this blog so I didn't strike it rich. It was fun and relaxing though.

So in summary:

1. Take down the Tower City sign that points you to nowhere
2. Put up more welcome signs throughout the city
3. The shores of our river deserve to be more than parking lots
4. Plan a Christmas shopping day downtown and get your hands on some really unique and fun gifts
5. Get on the waiting list right now for the nuCLEus project
6. Check out the Soldiers and Sailor monument
7. Stop going to Mountaineer and start coming up and supporting your local casino
8. Love Cleveland and say goodnight

You may have missed these 3 previous posts SOOOOOO if you're bored, please check them out:

• Random Stuff This Week Post
• Chicago Part 1 - The Train Ride
• Chicago Part 2 - The Rivers

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Chicago - Part 2 - The Rivers

Well the first post I did about our trip to Chicago peaked little to no interest in the 13 people who read. I think 2 of the views were me checking to see if my counter was working. So what did I do? I decided to go back to it!

The most scenic views of Chicago for me were along the main stem of the Chicago River. The water had a beautiful blue/green color to it. The bridges were all ornate and interesting to look at. The river walk let people get up close to it and enjoy a little bit of nature and beauty. The buildings along the river are some the best in the city. There were architectural tour boats on the river. There were people running and biking along the river walk. There were tourists (including myself) taking pictures from the bridges. There were outdoor cafes and restaurants. This is what I picture it looking like when you are lucky enough to have a river run through your city. You can't be close enough to it... there can't be enough balconies and windows overlooking it.

You may not be able to see it clearly in the picture below but the downtown area around the main stem of the river is dense and built up. A lot of the landmark buildings in the city are either right next to it or have some sort of water view. The Magnificent Mile crosses over it at one of the more beautiful bridges you'll ever see. It is the natural centerpiece to a wonderful urban plan... Plus it helped divert sewage that was being emptied into the Chicago river away from Lake Michigan which is the source of the city's drinking water.

Then there's our river... which from above looks as if it's so toxic that it's killing anything 90 yards from it's shores. We do little to nothing to take advantage of the Cuyahoga river and it's been that way for 50 years. As soon as industry started to go away from the city, our flats area began its slow slip into imminent death. The sad thing is... no one cared. Other than at the north edge... there is nothing. Hell we didn't see any worthwhile new construction along the river until the 2000's. Rock piles take up prime land along Cleveland's river while tall beautiful (expensive) buildings and walkable paths snug Chicago's river right up to the shore.

I pointed this out long ago but sometimes people need reminded... Cleveland and Chicago both have:

1. A Great Lakes shoreline
2. A river that runs through it
3. Windy, snowy, and frigid winters
4. Top 10 violent crime spots for multiple years running
5. Rapid transit
6. Major sports franchises
7. Beautiful parks
8. A history of political corruption
9. Historical buildings
10. Highways and suburbs and marinas and airports and do you want to know the difference between the 2 cities when it comes down to it's core?!?!?!

P-R-I-D-E

Ohioans have pride for their stupid Buckeyes or their misguided political affiliations or the size of their eco-killing SUVs or how green and trim their suburban yard is but they have NO PRIDE in where they live. They have no self esteem when it comes to where they're from or where they're at or where they go. The city is a whore that they go to when they need to have fun but then they treat her like shit when they've used her up and deny her when questioned afterwards. Chicagoans had their city flag all over the place including t-shirts! Their celebrities and well-to-do citizens both live and work there. The city provided for them and they in turn keep the city going. I know every place has there issues but I feel like if you traded 25 Chicagoans for 10,000 NEO suburbanites who bitch about the winter and how the democrats are ruining their lives and how if there weren't so many ethnics on Public Square, maybe they'd go downtown more >>> CLEVELAND WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE!

You chicken shits take your money to the suburbs and blame the schools or the crime or the lack of a yard and without even thinking about it you contribute further to the problem that you're scared about in the first place. You let those cancers spread! You did nothing but live in fear and in turn destroyed the 5th largest city in the country in 1950. FOR WHAT?!?! So you could stare out the window at a parking lot and a highway for 8 hours a day before you go home and slowly die in front of the TV???? We have things that all other cities have. What happened?... God it's so depressing to look back and see that Chicago was #2 and we were #5 and then we just circled the bowl for 50 years. Today Chicago is #3 and we're below Columbus. Awful...

Look, Cleveland is a hot chick who just lost a bunch of weight and went through a bad break up. She's way out of your league now but you have the opportunity to take advantage and pump a baby into her before she figures it out! If you and ten of your friends each bought a house on the same street in this city, you could change a whole neighborhood! They'd write about it in the paper and probably elect the Realtor that sold all of those houses to Mayor for life. If you got 5 of your friends to move their businesses (no matter how big or small) to this city, you might be elected as King of the city for as long as you wanted to rule. Try doing that in Chicago! You can move in and out and no one will even notice.

You can buy a house in this city for $10,000 and have to invest $50,000 at most to make it livable. Know what $60,000 can buy you in the suburbs? A shitty 70's split level that'll need $35,000 in additional work and a 45 minute drive to anything fun and worth doing. I went from a $1,200 a month mortgage to almost half that in rent. I can buy a double in Cleveland, live in one half, and not have to pay mortgage out of my pocket as long as the other half is rented out. Why does this not make financial sense to anyone? Oh ya, the government has been feeding you this home ownership line of bullshit since the 50's. Add up 10 years of your city taxes and then get a quote on repaving the street in front of your house and repairing the water and sewer lines just for shits and giggles. Oh and don't forget the sidewalks and the trees in the tree lawn. Do you have a entrance to your neighborhood? You get to pay for a part of that too. How far are the police and fire departments from your house? How many kids do you have? Have you blown past your 10 year tax number yet?...

This city has no tanning places or nail salons (per Gina). We don't have enough laundromats. I have 1 place to buy nice men's clothes. Find me 5 places that serve an honest to god breakfast and not just brunch. Where would I buy a kayak in Cleveland? Do I really have to go all the way to Larchmere Blvd to buy yarn? What I'm getting at is that if you have an idea for a business that's not a bar or restaurant, Cleveland and Clevelanders need it and will use it! Are you a dime a dozen business in Strongsville? Get into a storefront on Lorain or Waterloo or Larchmere and they will appreciate you and buy from you! Again, you're just gonna get lost in Chicago's competitive everything market.

Now I let my thoughts wander a bit but in a weird way that only my mind understands, I stayed on point. We ran as fast as we could from Cleveland after our river caught fire. Their city pretty much burned down and they used that as the turning point in their history. Now they have iconic buildings along the shores of their river and we have... piles of stone... lots of them... might even be a record or something.

The point is when the going got tough the cowards of Cleveland ran screaming for suburbs while Chicagoans doubled down. Our river will forever be our scar because we let it. Their's is a crown worn proudly and celebrated.

::Sigh:: I'll tell ya I just can't get anyone to listen let alone care. I give up for today.

BUT... for the sake of balance I'll say that Whacker Drive shouldn't exists right next to the river. Buildings should butt up against rivers, not roads. Also, North Lakeshore Drive shouldn't butt up against the lake shore. Same principle. They should know better.

No, Cleveland... I love -> you! I just can't stand your friends. Goodnight and go Browns!

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CLE Itinerary 1

This is not going to be a long post because, basically, readership has been way down on the old blog so I'm going to keep it simple and not fret too much about it. This one is just going to give you a list of places I like to take people when they come up or recommend to people who are going to spend the day downtown. Now since people who come up mainly are coming from the Stark county area, I have to keep the experience safe and shiny. I can't take people to Johnny's Bar on Fulton or recommend the newly renovated League Park for the first time they come up.. I mean they'd have a heart attack and die the second we drove through the neighborhoods to get there. Let's just say that this is like a Time Square tour of downtown Cleveland.

CLE Itinerary 1 - Inspired by "Gina and I's 1st big downtown date":

• When: Any time of the year. Both snow and sun have their perks with this one.
• 1st stop: Lunch at Noodlecat
• Even though I didn't take her here on this particular date, it was part of another date. This is one of my favorite places to get a good easy meal downtown. In this Jonathon Sawyer Japanese-American mash up, think ramen noodle soup on steroids and delicious finger sandwiches. Intrigued aren't you??? They take great food and mix it in with your favorite $.38 college breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Order a beer with your meal and it's like you're right back in your dirty $1200 a month apartment that you share with 7 other people and pay for with your parent's money. Don't get me wrong though, the quality of the food is top notch and the taste is even better. Check out the lunch menu here.
• 2nd stop: The Rock and Roll Hal of Fame
• Most of you haven't been here since it opened in 1995 but it's an awesome experience and a great place to get lost for a few hours. The cost to get in is fairly reasonable and the gift shop has some awesome stuff. It's hard to describe the experience but as a fan of rock and roll music, it's a much needed reminder of what real music sounds like and where it came from. You'll be jamming to WMMS for the rest of the week after you leave.
• 3rd stop: GE Chandelier
• This wasn't up when Gina and I went on the date that inspired this list but it's a great addition to the list! Stop and see the largest outdoor chandelier in the universe! The GE Chandelier is located above the intersection of Euclid and E 14th St in beautiful Playhouse Square. The lights are bright and twinkling in this area so bring a camera and snap some selfies. It's a must see in a city that's more known for it's grit than it's glitz.
• 4th stop: East 4th Street
• Cleveland's hip entertainment district has a ton of choices for places to get a great meal and a drink. If you go in the summer, you can sit on one of their many outdoor patios spaces and have a great meal and even better people watching. If you go during the winter, start at the south end, work your way north, and end up in the beautiful Cleveland Arcade. Their Christmas decorations are amazing so allow some extra time for pictures. It's a beautiful building inside no matter what the season. Don't valet park or park in the casino garage! Park in one of the many surface lots for a much cheaper rate.
• A must stop and shop is the CLE Clothing Store on the north end of East 4th. I'm hoping most everyone has heard of them before or maybe even have a shirt or 2 of theirs. I'm hoping to get Cleveland Skyline socks for Christmas from there. Anyway, it's a great walk through even if you're short on cash but you can't help but end up getting something even if it's just a cool bumper sticker.
• I'll put this note here at the beginning: I recommend putting in reservations to any East 4th restaurants. I haven't been to all of the restaurants on East 4th but there is one I'm kinda sweet on. The Greenhouse Tavern is Chef Jonathon Sawyer's flagship restaurant (I know, another Sawyer restaurant but he is awesome!) with a menu that may take a few minutes to get used to. Don't be scared of the 1/2 a pigs head or the liberal use of the word "FRITES". I'll give you a hint... everything here is delicious! I usually get the crispy chicken wings but if this is an early date night, you may want to try anything else since they're heavy on garlic, scallions, and jalapenos. They're out of this world but unless she gets them too... or is planning on getting black out drunk... you may want to stay away. Seriously, you'll be sweating these out the next day but they're worth it! If it's you and your buddies, go nuts! Maybe even look into getting the half a pigs head for the table. I saw a family with little kids eating it recently so don't be a pussy! Also, don't get dessert just yet. I'll tell you why later.
• Next, get tickets to a show at Hilarities (also ahead of time). It's Cleveland's best comedy club and most weekends you'll get to see one of the country's top comedians. Headliner showtimes are usually at 7:30 pm or 9:30/10 pm Friday and Saturday with a possible Thursday show and/or Sunday show thrown in. You can check out their calendar here. Also, sign up for the free tickets. I've won multiple time.
• I didn't do this on our date but I have added it to this night out plan. After the show is over head to the north end of East 4th to the Chocolate Martini Bar. I know, it sounds a bit foo foo but get over it and enjoy yourself. For the ladies, chocolate martinis with chocolate rims. Ya let that sink in. For the men, alcoholic hot chocolate. I'm glad I put this at the end since you may all be in la-la land right now. 1 or 2 of these make a great dessert and keeps the old buzz going.
• Last stop: The Horseshoe Casino
• It's a short walk down Euclid to Cleveland's beautiful casino housed in the old Higbee's department store building on Public Square. If it's winter time, you'll get a chance to enjoy Public Square's Christmas decoration and the old Higbee's holiday window decorations outside the casino. If it's summer, enjoy the views of Public Square with all of it's squareness and head on in. Put $20 in a machine or on a table and try to win big! There are 2 great bar areas on the 2nd floor to chill out in and the drink prices are pretty reasonable for being in a casino. If you're just looking, it's decorated beautifully and has a lot of shiny things to look at.
• Too drunk to drive home? (We took the train but you may not be able to): 
• The Hyatt Regency is located in the Cleveland Arcade if you want to stay in a truly unique hotel. 
• If you want to stay at something shiny, go to the Westin and enjoy it's $70 million restoration. 
• If you won the jackpot at the casino, head to the Metropolitan at the 9 Hotel. It is luxurious to beat all luxurious.

Whelp, there's my itinerary for the out-of-towner who wants to experience Cleveland but may not want to deal with the scary parts. I don't blame you for wanting to avoid them either. It's not everyone's cup of tea although I like all the parts of this city so I'm kind of a "Facts of Life" urbanite. "You take the good. You take the bad. Yadda yadda... Cleveland."

There are certainly way more things to do in our fair city like see a play at Playhouse Square, go to the museums of University Circle, shop at the West Side Market, see a show at the Beachland Ballroom, eat at Happy Dog... but those I'll save for another day and another itinerary. See, with only so many hours in a day, you could string together a nice little vacation in the comeback city and still feel safe. Have a good weekend Cleveland. I love ya and never forget... somewhere a Jonathon Sawyer restaurant is making delicious food just for you. Peace out, cub scout!

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