Holiday Lights Trolley Ride

I went on a Holiday Lights Trolley Ride through ole Cle-town with these 3 drunkin' elves:

Our point of origin was JUKEBOX where we got free chili, a to-go brew cup with straw, and a Santa hat! Drinking beer from a straw like I was forced to go to church in college sounded fun. To be festive I made my beer of choice Great Lakes Christmas Ale which I had to open a Christmas gift to get at...a gift I was giving someone else...this is the 3rd time I've done this this month. Since I didn't have to drive I figured why the hell not! We all got situated and listened to the best Jukebox in the city until it was time to go. I really, really like this bar. All the things that a bar should be are here with none of the gimmicky fluff. Good tunes. Good brews. Good service. Good people. Good times. A perfect place to start this adventure!

Stop #1 - A Christmas Story House: 

Even though we practically live down the street, we've only ever driven past the A Christmas Story House. It was everything I remembered from the movie, leg lamp and all. They even changed the interior of the house to reflect what you'd see if the movie was actually filmed inside. Thank God there are people out there creative enough (and rich enough) to do such wonderful things all because of a movie they loved when they were younger. I wish the neighborhood was a little less run down when it's dark out tho. I mean it's not bad but those houses are in a historical neighborhood which is rich people slang for how you'd describe grandpa before you put him in a lower middle ranked nursing home. It is a great tourist destination for the neighborhood and city tho and A Christmas Story Run 5k/10k benefits the neighborhood revitalization efforts. I will always be happy to have this piece of Christmassy Hollywood right here in Cleveland.

Stop #2 - The Horseshoe Casino...Higbee's:

Here's a stock photo of what some of the lights look like since I didn't have time to take pictures because I WON $250!...which instantly went to a Christmas gift for Gina. Yes, folks that's right. I'll never be rich. Anyway it was a fun stop and Gina took great pictures I heard. I was too busy being happy and strut walking like a champ!

Stop #3 - Playhouse Square

	This is my favorite place in the city. As I may or may not have said before, it's like Cleveland's version of Disneyland and Vegas all rolled into one in the winter. It reminds me that this city is beautiful and grown up. It shows what happens if you really care about the arts and classic architecture. I could have stood there in a drunk awe all night. I can only hope that this kind of stuff spreads to other neighborhoods. It's certainly worth visiting Cleveland just to see it. I'd say more but I talk about how awesome this area is like every 2 posts.

Stop #4: The Euclid Beach Park Carousel at the Western Reserve Historical Society

So ya, another stock photo because we didn't really stop at this one. We just kinda drove by which was a bummer because it's beautiful! From what we could see they did an excellent job with the whole restoration and building. I definitely want to stop there and check it out soon. 

And yes, I was much to drunk to take a photo from a moving bus and have a conversation about whatever I was talking about. That's what the internets are for.

Stop #5: Nela Park (pronounced N-el-a like when hillbillies say "yellow", Kerry!) in "beautiful" East Cleveland, Ohio

So NELA Park is really a beautiful light setup that I'm going to guess most of you won't risk it to go see (which is understandable) but you are missing out. I actually didn't know this was even here. It's like a mile of lights and lit up figures and presents and up lighting and more lights. You'd think this was a light factory or sumphin! If you do decide to venture out and take picture, you will see police cars across the street watching you and making sure your safe. Hey, East Cleveland know who puts the government issued butter on what side of the government issued bread! Even more of a reason for Cleveland to annex this city...or for you to go and see this wonderful display!

The End!

Thanks Gina for getting the tickets and Kerry for spending time with us. It really was a fun experience being a tourist in my own city and guzzling some holiday cheer while doing so. I don't know which one will last longer, my indigestion from the chili or the Christmas hat, but the memories of this trip will last for a lifetime.

I hope all of you Urban Pioneers have a safe and happy holiday season. I may talk to you one more time in 2015 but if I don't, Happy New Year!

A few last things:

1. If you haven't seen the new Star Wars yet, maybe think about seeing at the Capitol Theater! Tickets on Mondays are like $7 and the place is so big, you won't have to be packed in right next to anyone. Oh and there's beer and wine AND liquor! And you can see it in 3-D!!! Accomplish the Gordon Square triple play >> Eat dinner at Happy Dog, get dessert at Sweet Moses, and see frickin' Star Wars at the Capitol Theater >> Bring a date and it's at least a guaranteed beej!
2. If you haven't been to Playhouse Square yet this holiday season, you're a god-damned Grinch! Take your stupid lights off of you dumb house and bury yourself alive in the backyard!...or I guess going there right now would be way easier for you. I mean how would you bury... never mind. Just go. Oh and after it's dark so you can get the full light-gasm enjoyment!
3. Quit being a jerk and go to the A Christmas Story house already! It's open all year round so I mean you could go like in January when $hits calms down. Just go. If you watch it all day on Christmas, go! Bring friends and buy tickets!
4. #Sadie - If you are too good for my childish and disgusting elf on the shelf pictures, then fine. But...if you're not a soulless PC religious soccer mom, you'll definitely get a kick out of year's 1 and 2 of #Sadie - Crackwhore Elf of the North Stripper Pole. Oh and if you do, no one will judge you for liking a photo or 12 on Facebook. You can just heart it on Instagram if you're trying to keep all of your evil secrets away from your judgy Facebook friends. No one looks at those names but me...and I picture you nude while clicking like...while I'm nude....touching my elf. Sooooo go do that already because likes and comments have been slim this year and I'm ditching if I don't think people care about it.

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Holly Jolly CLEVmas!

11/30/2014 - It's that time of year again folks. Twinkling lights, Christmas Ale, leg lamps, and creepy elf dolls... it's officially Christmas time (since it's now after 12/1). Now you may know that I have a hate/hate relationship with the Christmas season since it has been decorated with most of the lowest moments in my life over the years... I speak of course from the glass half empty, 1st person, not able to see the big picture perspective. One thing I do enjoy doing during the holiday season is going downtown to see the lights and decorations. Last year was my first time doing this... well because I did indeed live under a rock... and I loved it!... not the rock. The lights. I think it's mainly because we get to add some color to an otherwise grey urban palate. Lights remind you of Time Square or Broadway and just make things festive. Plus it means Christmas is coming and you get presents! Spoken like a true child at heart, right?

I can't really say how long Cleveland's been doing the Winterfest/Tree-lighting thing downtown but I've heard and read that it's a heck of a fun time. And just like me in 2012, I've never actually been to Winterfest or to a Tree Lighting ceremony in person... but this year I did read lots of articles about it!:

http://www.cleveland.com/kristel/index.ssf/2014/11/watch_winterfest_tree-lighting.html#incart_river

http://www.cleveland.com/metro/index.ssf/2014/11/lights_action_winterfest_shift.html#incart_river

http://www.cleveland.com/kristel/index.ssf/2014/11/2014_winterfest_lights_up_play.html#incart_river

Unfortunately I missed out on all of the fun but be sure that next year I will be attending this AND the Cleveland Air Show! Write it on your calendar in pen folks. Oh and if I die before those 2 things, one of you has to be in charge of taking my ashes to both. Promises are promises people.

Oh Christmas Tree! Oh Christmas Tree! You aren't as big as you should be...

So because I missed Winterfest this year I had to make a special trip to take some pictures and see what Christmas in Playhouse Square looks like. No better way to travel on a November day where it was 60 degrees than on bikes! Zagster bikes to be exact. We rented them from the station next to Lincoln Park about 3 blocks from us. They were super easy to rent using the Zagster App and were basically brand new. $3 an hour and if you return it in under an hour, your ride is free! It comes with a lock, a front basket, and a back shelf thingy. Very convenient for when I make Gina ride it with me to get groceries from the West Side Market. It's an urbanist's dream come true! We rode out of Tremont and across the Lorain/Carnagie bridge. This bridge confuses me to no end... want to know why? IT'S UPHILL BOTH WAYS!!! How in the hell did the people who designed this bridge pull that off. It wasn't bad when I had all that beginner's endurance and strength but boy did it suck on the way home. Driving through downtown was kind of a breeze. We stayed in our bike lane and things were quiet for the most part. It was like 5 pm on a Sunday so it was in no way rush hour but you'll hear no complaints from me. A thuggy fella did long-honk his horn at Gina but I'm sure he was just saying "Hello" and not "Get the Hell out of the street"... maybe it was "Nice booty baby!"? If that's the case, I'm sure he was honking at me.

I'll have to say that when we got to Playhouse Square (which I love anyways), I fell in love with the glitz and twinkle of Christmas all over again. There were a lot of people like us there taking in the sites and enjoying the strange warm weather. The Christmas tree was in Star Plaza which was the logical place for it. It was medium sized for an outdoor decoration and covered... COVERED in lights. All of the other trees were decorated in lights as well as some of the iconic Playhouse Square sites. All of the holiday lighting mixed with the theater marquees and the GE Chandelier made this place feel like it could be the best place on earth to be at Christmas time. When the tree and decorations return to Public Square after it's renovated, Playhouse Square should consider doing their own tree and decorations from now on... if they don't already. It really is something that everyone should see.

I only added a few pictures because you should stop living vicariously through this blog and get down there to check it out for yourself! Bring your kids. Bring your parents and listen to their stories of going downtown at Christmas while you take it all in. There are no excuses for missing this!

After taking it all in we grabbed a bite to eat at Phuel cafe right there by the tree. Our food was great, healthy, and reasonably priced for the area! They have lot of veggie and gluten free options along with a variety of delicious drinks and smoothies. If you're lucky, you'll get our waitress too who was very nice and quite entertaining. I recommend stopping into Phuel if you are in the area... and you will be!!! Remember, no excuses!

This was an wonderful afternoon of firsts for me and I love those kind of days. First ride on a Zagster bike. First time riding a bike downtown. First time seeing Playhouse Square during Christmas time. First time seeing downtown lights with Gina. First time at Phuel Cafe. First time seeing Johnny football score a touchdown! Other than the loss, it was a good day!

Happy Holidays Cleveland!

Well Gina and I started at the Tremont Athletic Club on Monday so more to come about that. We've been to 2 Cavs games... both wins! Our 2 year anniversary is today (Friday) and I've got some fun in store for that but I'm not going to spoil it here today. I'm dressing a concrete goose on our porch in seasonal outfits and hiding a stupid elf named Sadie around our apartment. Oh the things you do for love huh? You know even though I have to keep her entertained like a kindergarten teacher some days, this whole experience wouldn't be the same without her. Well buenas noches land of the cleve! When it comes to cities, you are mi amor. >>>OUT!

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CLE Itinerary 1

This is not going to be a long post because, basically, readership has been way down on the old blog so I'm going to keep it simple and not fret too much about it. This one is just going to give you a list of places I like to take people when they come up or recommend to people who are going to spend the day downtown. Now since people who come up mainly are coming from the Stark county area, I have to keep the experience safe and shiny. I can't take people to Johnny's Bar on Fulton or recommend the newly renovated League Park for the first time they come up.. I mean they'd have a heart attack and die the second we drove through the neighborhoods to get there. Let's just say that this is like a Time Square tour of downtown Cleveland.

CLE Itinerary 1 - Inspired by "Gina and I's 1st big downtown date":

• When: Any time of the year. Both snow and sun have their perks with this one.
• 1st stop: Lunch at Noodlecat
• Even though I didn't take her here on this particular date, it was part of another date. This is one of my favorite places to get a good easy meal downtown. In this Jonathon Sawyer Japanese-American mash up, think ramen noodle soup on steroids and delicious finger sandwiches. Intrigued aren't you??? They take great food and mix it in with your favorite $.38 college breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Order a beer with your meal and it's like you're right back in your dirty $1200 a month apartment that you share with 7 other people and pay for with your parent's money. Don't get me wrong though, the quality of the food is top notch and the taste is even better. Check out the lunch menu here.
• 2nd stop: The Rock and Roll Hal of Fame
• Most of you haven't been here since it opened in 1995 but it's an awesome experience and a great place to get lost for a few hours. The cost to get in is fairly reasonable and the gift shop has some awesome stuff. It's hard to describe the experience but as a fan of rock and roll music, it's a much needed reminder of what real music sounds like and where it came from. You'll be jamming to WMMS for the rest of the week after you leave.
• 3rd stop: GE Chandelier
• This wasn't up when Gina and I went on the date that inspired this list but it's a great addition to the list! Stop and see the largest outdoor chandelier in the universe! The GE Chandelier is located above the intersection of Euclid and E 14th St in beautiful Playhouse Square. The lights are bright and twinkling in this area so bring a camera and snap some selfies. It's a must see in a city that's more known for it's grit than it's glitz.
• 4th stop: East 4th Street
• Cleveland's hip entertainment district has a ton of choices for places to get a great meal and a drink. If you go in the summer, you can sit on one of their many outdoor patios spaces and have a great meal and even better people watching. If you go during the winter, start at the south end, work your way north, and end up in the beautiful Cleveland Arcade. Their Christmas decorations are amazing so allow some extra time for pictures. It's a beautiful building inside no matter what the season. Don't valet park or park in the casino garage! Park in one of the many surface lots for a much cheaper rate.
• A must stop and shop is the CLE Clothing Store on the north end of East 4th. I'm hoping most everyone has heard of them before or maybe even have a shirt or 2 of theirs. I'm hoping to get Cleveland Skyline socks for Christmas from there. Anyway, it's a great walk through even if you're short on cash but you can't help but end up getting something even if it's just a cool bumper sticker.
• I'll put this note here at the beginning: I recommend putting in reservations to any East 4th restaurants. I haven't been to all of the restaurants on East 4th but there is one I'm kinda sweet on. The Greenhouse Tavern is Chef Jonathon Sawyer's flagship restaurant (I know, another Sawyer restaurant but he is awesome!) with a menu that may take a few minutes to get used to. Don't be scared of the 1/2 a pigs head or the liberal use of the word "FRITES". I'll give you a hint... everything here is delicious! I usually get the crispy chicken wings but if this is an early date night, you may want to try anything else since they're heavy on garlic, scallions, and jalapenos. They're out of this world but unless she gets them too... or is planning on getting black out drunk... you may want to stay away. Seriously, you'll be sweating these out the next day but they're worth it! If it's you and your buddies, go nuts! Maybe even look into getting the half a pigs head for the table. I saw a family with little kids eating it recently so don't be a pussy! Also, don't get dessert just yet. I'll tell you why later.
• Next, get tickets to a show at Hilarities (also ahead of time). It's Cleveland's best comedy club and most weekends you'll get to see one of the country's top comedians. Headliner showtimes are usually at 7:30 pm or 9:30/10 pm Friday and Saturday with a possible Thursday show and/or Sunday show thrown in. You can check out their calendar here. Also, sign up for the free tickets. I've won multiple time.
• I didn't do this on our date but I have added it to this night out plan. After the show is over head to the north end of East 4th to the Chocolate Martini Bar. I know, it sounds a bit foo foo but get over it and enjoy yourself. For the ladies, chocolate martinis with chocolate rims. Ya let that sink in. For the men, alcoholic hot chocolate. I'm glad I put this at the end since you may all be in la-la land right now. 1 or 2 of these make a great dessert and keeps the old buzz going.
• Last stop: The Horseshoe Casino
• It's a short walk down Euclid to Cleveland's beautiful casino housed in the old Higbee's department store building on Public Square. If it's winter time, you'll get a chance to enjoy Public Square's Christmas decoration and the old Higbee's holiday window decorations outside the casino. If it's summer, enjoy the views of Public Square with all of it's squareness and head on in. Put $20 in a machine or on a table and try to win big! There are 2 great bar areas on the 2nd floor to chill out in and the drink prices are pretty reasonable for being in a casino. If you're just looking, it's decorated beautifully and has a lot of shiny things to look at.
• Too drunk to drive home? (We took the train but you may not be able to): 
• The Hyatt Regency is located in the Cleveland Arcade if you want to stay in a truly unique hotel. 
• If you want to stay at something shiny, go to the Westin and enjoy it's $70 million restoration. 
• If you won the jackpot at the casino, head to the Metropolitan at the 9 Hotel. It is luxurious to beat all luxurious.

Whelp, there's my itinerary for the out-of-towner who wants to experience Cleveland but may not want to deal with the scary parts. I don't blame you for wanting to avoid them either. It's not everyone's cup of tea although I like all the parts of this city so I'm kind of a "Facts of Life" urbanite. "You take the good. You take the bad. Yadda yadda... Cleveland."

There are certainly way more things to do in our fair city like see a play at Playhouse Square, go to the museums of University Circle, shop at the West Side Market, see a show at the Beachland Ballroom, eat at Happy Dog... but those I'll save for another day and another itinerary. See, with only so many hours in a day, you could string together a nice little vacation in the comeback city and still feel safe. Have a good weekend Cleveland. I love ya and never forget... somewhere a Jonathon Sawyer restaurant is making delicious food just for you. Peace out, cub scout!

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4th of July Week Part 2

More fireworks! I'll pretty much go anywhere it seems if they promise to show me loud exploding balls of light. That explains why I took a trip down ole memory lane with Gina and my rents to go watch fireworks on beautiful Atwood Lake... in the middle of what felt like Alaska in January! And if Alaska is somehow warm in January... I'm stupid but you get my point. It was freeeeezing! The day started out decently temperaturized which is par for this summer's shitty weather so far. At least it wasn't raining. After Gina got home from work and we went to pick up my rental's new dryer from North Canton, we met at my parent's place, condensed cars, and headed down the twisty road to Atwood.

Here's ole sour patch face and grumpy Bahama cat enjoying the 45 degree temps with the wind out on the lake. I complain but it wasn't that bad after you wrapped up in towels to keep warm. It was also great to spend time with my parents and reminisce about the days of my youth when I ruled over the one person kingdom which was Atwood. Luckily for me Gina didn't mind hearing most of the stories again... or she just didn't pay attention to me when I told them to her the first time. Either way they made the trip around the lake go pretty fast.

The fireworks were not as great as I remember them unfortunately but it didn't make the night any less fun. I guess I've been spoiled by Lakewood's display that will (if you let it) knock your socks off. We got a great spot... if the fireworks were wear they were in 1994. They changed the location on us! We could still see them but we were much less willing to navigate the lake once it got dark in order to get a better view. Boats have like 3 tiny dirty lights on the and are almost impossible to see once the sun goes  down. Remember that young adventurous kids...

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Gina's cousin Kerry's birthday was Saturday! She's the same age as us (you're welcome) and was looking for a fun night out and about in our little slice of Cleve-town. Of course Gina and I used this opportunity to A) do knew things and B) eat new things. So to accomplish both of those and get the most bang for all of our bucks, we made reservations for Lago on the East Bank of the Flats in the new E&Y Tower. Oh and for the gift we finally... FINALLY made it over to Tremont's own Lilly Homemade Chocolates. Foodies, this is going to be right up your alley.

People who don't even know where Tremont is know what Lilly's is and they can hardly get the praise out of their mouths without drifting into a drooling daydream. Needless to say I was ready to be amazed and to gain an uncontrollable 6-8 lbs. The first thing you notice when you walk in is that the place is packed full of craft beer and interesting looking chocolates. They really made it easy to pair the 2 and put together a box of delicious goodies. The staff was super helpful and willing to walk us newb's through the whole process. We got a variety box for Kerry and a chocolate bar for us with 2 bottles of paired beers. Spoiler alert... they were amazing and the beer matched and complimented the flavors perfectly! Lilly's deserves all the hype and more. This is definitely my new gift spot.

The East Bank is currently under construction building phase 2 of their project. We went from the parking lot right to the new E&Y Tower where the hotel and restaurants are located. The outdoor patio is the 1st thing you see and it's quite impressive! There are multiple seating options for groups of all sizes and there's even fireplace seating for these shitty cool Cleveland summer nights. We decided to eat inside but the front of Lago is pretty opened up.

The meals are quite pricey so be prepared but the food is definitely worth it. The portions are large and the seafood centric menu is quite diverse. The steak I got came out on a cutting board and was the size of a 2 year old child! It was delicious and obviously filling. The lobster gnocchis were excellent as well. The dessert was the 4 gold star winner of the night though. The tiramisu is smooth and the perfect combo of sweet and coffee flavors. It was by far the best I've ever had!

The kicker to this area was the clientele. It was a late 20's and early 30's paradise. Most everyone was dressed nicely and very good looking. Guys and girls. It is certainly a place to take a group of friends but if you're looking to head out for a singles night on the town, this is the place to get dinner! Of course I was already with the 2 prettiest girls in the place so all you guys will have to settle for 3rd place.

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The end of our whirlwind 4th of July weekend involved us eating chocolate, drinking beer, and relaxing in front of the TV... but before that we went to the Indian's game with my parents! It was the father's day gift I got my dad last month. That morning they actually made awesome time and didn't get lost once!... So they got here about 2 hours early while Gina and I were trying to get the house in order. We pointed them in the direction of Press to go get some brunch and quickly got ready.

So my dad is certainly not a fan of Cleveland as many who read the paper and don't live here wouldn't be so walking the flats to the Jake was completely out of the question. Now I can understand that a desolate, under developed, and almost forgotten area like the Flats we walk through to get to the Jake would seem like a great place to catch a bullet but during the day it's more of the Scooby Doo ghost town that Mike Polk talks about in the 2nd Cleveland Tourism video on YouTube. Irregardless, we drove... but I made him pay for it.

The day went from overcast and jacket worthy to beautiful and sunny at about the 3rd inning. We had pretty amazing seats courtesy of work and got to enjoy an Indian's win. I never realized how much I like watching a game with my Dad. He and I talk and watch the perfect amount to make a game go fast while still getting to enjoy it. The time flew by and before I knew it or got bored... it was 2 outs in the bottom of the 9th. It's been awhile since I went to a ball game with my either of my parents so it was great to do it again. Hopefully this is the 1st of many more to come. It's actually the first of 3 trips I'm making to the Jake for Indian's games this week. It sorta just worked out that way but I'm a super fan this week! Go Tribe!

On the way back to the car I decided to show off Cleveland a bit and walked my parents and Gina past the new GE Chandelier. I really think everyone should see it once in their life because it is such an awesome sight to behold. That whole Playhouse Square area is really impressive and other than a few street level vacancies, is almost a complete and total urban neighborhood and something that the other up and coming areas downtown should model themselves after. Transportation, residential, business, entertainment, walk-ability, trendy, and touristy all at the same time. Quite an impressive feat!

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Random Events this summer in Cleveland 2014

I've never been to this event but wanted to promote it because I think it's a great thing for the city to be known for. That being said, I had to copy paste a little from other sites. Sorry other sites...

The Fashion Week Cleveland is turning 10 this year and it's celebrating with a week-long series of fashion shows, style events, and educational programs that will be held May 30 - June 7. The event has become a highly anticipated vehicle for introducing the work of American designers to a wider public. Fashion Week Cleveland is known as the "educational fashion week" and has become the most significant industry event between New York and Los Angeles. -Women's Wear Daily Cleveland plays host to one of the few internationally recognized fashion industry events in North America. Fashion Week Cleveland is considered to be the best show in the Midwest and second only to New York’s extravaganza. -Movoto.com The event incorporates runway shows, exhibits, films, industry tours, seminars and workshops at cultural institutions, universities, and museums. Get your tickets now because like the past 9 years, it will sell out.

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Million Dollar Quartet is coming to Playhouse Square Jul 8 - Aug 3. If you're a fan Elvis, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, or just Rock and Roll in general, then this is the play to see. In 1956 they were all at Sun Records in Memphis at the same time. They play tons of classics and us young folk get to see a piece of music history that I for one had no idea of. I saw it on Broadway and it was amazing. Get your tickets now and make an evening of it! Enjoy dinner at Cibreo Italian Kitchen, Cowell and Hubbard, or any of the other great restaurants in the area. Give yourself some time after your meal to walk around and check out the new arches, lights, signs, and of course the GE chandelier.

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Gay Games 9 is one of the biggest sports and cultural festivals in the world and it's happening in Cleveland and Akron Aug 09 - Aug 16. The 35 sports and 2 cultural events are open to anyone no matter what sexual orientation you are. Lance Bass, Broadway actress Andrea McArdle, and the Pointer Sisters will be a part of the Opening Ceremony spectacular at Quicken Loans Arena. The events will be all around the area so get out to the one nearest to you, cheer on these athletes, and support Cleveland and Akron. Mega events like this don't come around here that often so show your support! Get your tickets now by checking out the tickets page although most of the events are free for spectators. Thank you Gay Games for choosing Cleveland!

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Gogol Bordello is playing the House of Blues on July 28. OK you may think that this is not your cup of tea but let me tell you that hearing an eastern European accent sing punk with gypsy-style calliope rock in the background hits an ancient piece of my Slavic eardrum like a tuning fork! Their music has been background noise to a lot of fun drunken nights and lends itself to such. It's fast, defiant, melodic, and it makes me want to sing along while dancing like a one of the Bushwhackers from the WWF mixed with Billy Joe Armstrong on stage in the early 90's. If you're feeling adventurous, get a group of friends together, go eat at pig's head at The Greenhouse Tavern on E 4th street, wash it down with a few Great Lakes beers, and go see Gogol Bordello at the House of Blues. Grab your tickets here. Damn you know how to party!

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See other events on my calendar by clicking this link:

• Summer 2014 Cleveland Events List

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Dazzle the District

5/2/14 - Playhouse Square scored big time on their opportunity to make their neighborhood a honest to God recognizable destination. They took their already highly successful neighborhood and brand and turned it into a place to go even if you don't have a ticket to a show. It wasn't meant to rhyme. It just did. Any who, after months of planning and preparation we Clevelanders started to see things get finished along Euclid Ave. New signs for the theaters, a new old-school sign on a building top, other random signage, and new arches that greet you at the entrances to the neighborhood.

The last piece that went up was definitely the most controversial and talked about outdoor decoration probably in Cleveland history. It's the GE chandelier and it's the biggest outdoor chandelier in the world. It was to be the crowning jewel of the neighborhood and the city's newest tourist attraction. Many complained that this was unnecessary in a city where poverty and crime are so high and roads were so badly chewed up but I for one love the idea. It sets Playhouse Square up for success in the future and builds upon an already strong entertainment based neighborhood by turning it into a destination inside and out. The chandelier is famous now (it's in the Guinness Book of World Records) and that's waaaaaay better than being known for a burning river. With events like the Gay Games, the Transplant Games, and possibly a political convention coming up (Not to mention Wrestlemania... serious get that done!), neighborhoods like Playhouse Square that can stick out on the map like this become a place for tourists and visitors to just casually go to and enjoy. You can come to playhouse Square to sight see for free and then maybe stay for the food, drinks, and plays.

The Dazzle the District event was the party that Playhouse Square threw to unveil the new additions and celebrate the success of the neighborhood. They shut down the streets, got a band (Hot Chelle Rae) to perform, and showed off a little bit of that glitz and glamour that they're known so well for. The turnout was impressive given that there was an Indians game and a Cher concert going on at the same time. The event was free but everything inside was "special event" priced. The lines were fairly manageable though and everyone seemed in great spirits. The booze choices were abundant with not only beer but wine, champagne, and some sort of canned mixed drink. I didn't get a chance to sample the food because I just got too hungry around 2 pm to hold out any longer... so I ate Chinese for lunch. Completely spoiled my appetite  My only complaint was the lack of bathroom facilities especially since anyone to the right of the stage (Me) was trapped in by the VIP gated off area and a wall of human beings so thick that it took me 15 excruciating minutes to navigate it while having to pee. It was literally only 20 feet and people were jammed in to the point where they had to be just inappropriately touching all sorts of parts. I'm sure the notion of port-a-potties made most of the Playhouse Square board swoon and faint so I can understand why there weren't any... to a point.

After the concert portion of the festivities, they finally got to the unveiling and showing off. After I had peed behind a dumpster in an alley, I circled around to the far back where I knew I could escape if I needed to. The choirs, songs, and performances were pretty entertaining. Everyone cheered and applauded... for awhile but it did drag on. Cheers of "Light it up!" roared from the crowd from time to time. I didn't mind since I was being entertained and really, I was just happy to be there. These are the kind of events that I moved to Cleveland to be closer to and to take part in.

I did my best to get in position to get the best view of when they lit up the chandelier. It wasn't quite as crowded in the area I was standing in so you could wiggle in between groups to get a better view. After some maneuvering I finally found a great spot. I had my phone out and my camera fired up and ready to go. The problem was... THEY TRICKED US! Everyone was looking at the fireworks and the arches lighting up on the east side of the event area. Only the gasps of the people in the crowd smart enough not to break eye contact with the chandelier told everyone that it had happened! This is the video I did capture once I turned around:

Dazzle the District is the kinda party that you're supposed to throw when you have an unveiling that's this good. The excitement of the crowd was at a fever pitch. The entertainment was great and the payoff was top notch. Congratulations Cleveland! You did it up right.

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Playhouse Square Chandelier Update

The support structure for the Playhouse Chandelier is up!

PlayhouseSquare Dazzle the District Celebration Update

Important Neighborhood Information
Friday, May 2, 2014

PlayhouseSquare is dazzling the district and making history in a one-time-only spectacle that will change the face of downtown Cleveland forever. On May 2, the lights come on with a special lighting ceremony and celebration. We hope you plan to join us! Please share this important information with all of your tenants, businesses, vendors and co-workers.

Here’s what you should know about Dazzle the District schedule of events that are free and open to the public:

5 p.m. – 8:30 p.m.
Happy Hours!
Neighborhood bars and restaurants open
“Taste of PlayhouseSquare” with food and beverages available for purchase on East 14th Street
Live music on Star Plaza with Revolution Brass Band

8:30 p.m.
National sensations Hot Chelle Rae Concert on the Euclid Avenue University Hospitals Main Stage

9:30 p.m.
Spectacle! Dazzle! Surprises? Lighting ceremony
Hot Chelle Rae returns to the stage immediately following the ceremony

Event Entrances

Enter the event from any of following entrances:
E. 13th and Euclid – E. 14th and Prospect (also a handicap drop-off site) – E. 17th and Euclid and Huron Rd. at Star Plaza

Neighborhood Road Closures

Euclid Avenue between East 13th Street and East 14th Street will be closed after morning rush hour on Wednesday, April 30.  On Thursday, May 1, after evening rush hour, Euclid Avenue will close between East 13th Street and East 18th Street.  East 14th Street will close between Euclid Avenue and Prospect Avenue. East 17th Street will close between Prospect Avenue and just north of Euclid Avenue. Road will re-open during the early morning hours on Saturday, May 3.

Questions?

Please visit PlayhouseSquare on Facebook or tweet us @PlayhouseSquare using hashtag #DazzleCLE. If you have a question that needs immediate attention on the day of the event, please call 216-771-8403.

Visit Dazzle the District website at www.playhousesquare.org/dazzle!

Cleveland Museum of Contemporary Art and University Circle

Last Saturday Gina (my beautiful girlfriend) and I went to the Cleveland Museum of Contemporary Art in University Circle. For as much as I've read about the museum and geeked out over pictures, I have yet to go. So when Gina wanted to know what plans were for a rare Cleveland couple's weekend, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. 

I made Gina take a slight detour through Playhouse Square to see the new arches and signage that they are putting up. I was amazed! It's almost Vegas-like in its glitz and glamour. OK maybe old downtown Vegas but still place-making at its finest! Here's a pic of one of the arches. Just awesome!

We then traveled down the HealthLine to University Circle. Midtown is starting to fill in which is great! I can remember years ago taking a wrong turn after a Browns game and being at the intersection of E 55th and Euclid. The whole car full of us just prayed that the light would change fast so we could get the hell out. It seems like a completely different place now.

When we got into University Circle I bored poor Gina with stories I had read on Urban Ohio. If you want to know what projects are happening in Cleveland, I highly recommend you check it out. I do daily... not at work though. UC is a beautiful neighborhood dominated by the Cleveland Clinic (technically in Fairfax), University Hospital, Case Western Reserve University, and the Louis Stokes VA Medical Center not to mention all of the museums, parks, and the Uptown project. Once we parked I couldn't help but snap pictures like a tourist even though it was raining. Here's where we spent the afternoon:

This is the the Cleveland Museum of Contemporary Art. Pretty sweet looking huh? And it's not even the craziest looking building in the neighborhood (Peter B Lewis building) believe it or not! The views of UC alone were worth the price of admission. Up and down Euclid you can see what happens when the right mixture of jobs, money, population, art, and drive all come together and make urban progress. UC isn't downtown and they don't have to be either. 3-5 story buildings are just fine and in a lot of cases allow you to be creative and daring when it comes to design and use. This could have easily been a strip mall with a Walmart, a Target, and a Subway and it would have been hailed by onlookers as a triumph!... but it wasn't. It was daring and traditional at the same time. It's what urban living is all about. Beautiful, functional, and dense. Below is a picture of Uptown just on the east side of the museum. I love the look of the buildings, the density of the project on a main road, and the residential over retail design. Mixed use! Imagine looking out your weird sideways window every morning and seeing the glistening black shape of the museum across the street. Your minutes away from museums, 2 of the top healthcare facilities in the country, a great university, the city's best Italian food, and the country's best BRT (bus rapid transit) line. And there is so much more!!! Being just within this city block was quite an experience and I will definitely go back. 

Now back to the museum. The theme of one of the museum installations was death. It wasn't as morbid as what may be conjured up in your head at the moment. It was contemporary art... it took the topic from a whole different angle and ranged from painting with autopsy fluids to collages of life in memorial. My 2 favorite exhibits were both in this installation:

1. There was a list of sentences that chronicled a woman's life from birth to death. It was like someone took important passages from a diary and summarized them into individual sentences. You didn't know the woman's name or anything about her but after reading it you were able to say that you knew her. Very powerful.
2. You were to think about your life while laying on your back. When you were done you were to write your epitaph as you would have it appear on your grave stone. From there you took small individual letter stencils made of metal and pounded them with a hammer into (2) 3X5 cards. One you hung up on the wall representing a cemetery. One you kept. My read "He discovered is passion too late in life." It made me sad.

Oh and don't forget to go to the gift shop! There are tons of awesome souvenirs and they all stay close to the contemporary art thing. Gina and I are coming back for Christmas presents so get ready for weird gifts.

Then it snowed like crazy! Like really crazy. We went to Fuel Coffee Bar in the Little Italy neighborhood. We hoped that the snow would stop but it didn't. Great coffee though and great conversations with the baristas/coffee bartenders. It kept us warm and that's what we were looking for.

We spent the rest of the day in the Coventry neighborhood of Cleveland Heights. We met Gina's cousin Kerry and ate at BD's Mongolian Grill. I liked the food there but Kerry and Gina described it as the Walmart of Mongolian restaurants. A great idea that I like about that neighborhood is the parking garage. Every neighborhood should have one. Maybe not right on the main drag for everyone to see but boy is it great not having to park on the street and all of the headaches that come with that.

Check out some other events I've attended or places I've been by clicking on the links below:

• MOCA and University Circle
• NYE 2014
• The Cleveland Flea
• Dyngus Day
• Dazzle the District